well today was fun, i was at my best friends house and we talked a lot. i feel that we're getting really close, i almost cried when we were talking - i guess i was just thinking about things too much... the whole moving deal is really setting me off. and i can tell she really cares about me, the only thing is i have this lingering feeling that she wont be there as much when i move. this whole year is fucked up - first most of my friends are moving away (cause they're seniors or jr's graduating early) and then i myself am moving... honestly, i've been crying myself to sleep every night... i cant handle this shit anymore. i know my friends love me but do they really like me... i know some of them do - cause they take time out to listen to my problems and see whats up, but some are just there - either to use me or just to gain more of a fanbase. lately my perception of everything has been jacked... im illusioning my demise as we speak.

i dont know how much longer i have on this earth.