haven't updated in a while...

secretly the poachers slaughter the deer, while the whole time i just sat there ignoring the whole situation.. people need to get off their hollowing stools and take a stand for what they believe in. im tired of seeing people being shoved around and being bent to fit others standards.

this shit hasn't just happened to people ive witnessed.. its happened to me, and im getting tired of this noose that restrains me. im breaking free and i wont return to being dominated..

im also tired of responding to the sleezy prostitute that is nationalism. im tired of defending a country that doesn't stand up for itself in confrontations, a country that doesn't know how to stabalize debt, and most of all a country that has a leader that can't talk right...

sigh... lots of stuff happening.. too many picket fences to paint.. too many thoughts rushing through my head..

sometimes i just lay in bed at nights, and just think what could have been.. if i hadn't have met the people i know now, who would i know? how would i act? how would i look? .. you know, everything is effected by the past action.. nothing is just a sudden bolt and it happens, things lead into one another like a wave.. its hard to understand...

the ungiving wake of depression keeps taunting me.. i dont know how much longer i can resist, its looking even more tempting than it ever has been before..

.. let the flesh instruct the mind ..