[.:remember the future:.]
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1.27.03
2003-01-27 //_ 4:42 p.m.

ARRRGGGGG!!!!....

you can probably tell im pretty pissed... my life is just floating lifelessly down the drain..

turns out that my computer is now LEGALLY a bitch.. either i got a virus or something gay happened with the computer which made it act like a ho, preventing me from moving my mouse around.. so, like any normal person would do, i restarted the computer.. it did the same exact thing and somehow my kazaa files got deleted along with some MANDATORY files for loading... when all this shit was happening i was in a constant state of shock and frustration..

so now i have resorted to using my fathers computer.. its not that bad, i mean i still have messenger.. and i guess thats all i really need. but it just fucking pisses me off that all my files.. the files from which i must have spent MONTHS trying to download are now all gone.. it's like that no doubt song lyric.. "we get so far, and then it starts rewinding" .. its like you get this far, and achieve and recieve so much, then just have it all blown away... i had some extremely priceless pictures that i LUCKILY saved on a zip disk before all this shit happened saved on that computer.. now those copys are gone.. i ALSO had movies which i spent about a week downloading which i didn't have the chance to view! such as "knockaround guys." .. ahhggg...

i wonder what i did to deserve this.. this amount of frustration / pain / confusion.. this isn't teaching me any lessons.. i dont want to learn lessons - i want how things were before..

moving on with my DAILY LIFE...

it seems now that to me, everything thats small and supposed to be life's small pleasures are turning into needles of pain and annoyance.. i'm getting extremely tired of the same thing everyday..

first off, my spanish class is probably the class im just getting fucking sick off, the teacher is fucking retarded and everyone in that class is annoying, i dont have the patientience nor the energy to keep up in a class that doesn't give a shit about how one's personal thoughts are taken into consideration.

the second thing is my friends.. i know that im probably just not getting enough sleep, but im begining to find some of my 'friends' extremely annoying and repetitive.. especially this one girl (i will not name names) who just keeps talking to me as if im listening, and i just hate her so much.. she wont shut up either.. ackk.. ok i'll probably regret that later.. but i dont even think she knows my name though. so it's all good..

the only thing i seem to want to do is just be alone.. i like to spend a lot of time alone, and if i had the option, thats how i would be right now.. but i've made the horrible mistake of being too friendly and approachable.. now everyone knows my name and just wants to talk.. sigh .. now i understand why people get suicidal.

the other joy i get out of life right now is my music.. my bass and my cd's .. i love no doubt right now.. it seems to just pass time by.. dont ask me, my tastes in music change by the minute..

i guess i'll go now.. the simpsons are gonna be on and i guess i'll waste 30 minutes of my life watching something that wants to invoke a spirit in me.. laughter...

"i just want to laugh again.." - Jonathan Davis

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