well... what should i say?

today's saterday... nothing much going on... except this giving fear of depression seems to be covering me...

this whole time i've been just waiting here, for it to finally blanket its unforgiving sheild of mistrust, when i just realize that it'll never fall for me... but i have to fall for it..

lately i've been thinking... maybe not "good" thoughts *it matters on what your definition of "good" is* but i realize that most of my thoughts seem to be circleing around death... i've thought about killing myself on numerous occasions, but now it doesnt even ful-fill me anymore..

my life has become a hollowing cast of plastic... my pain is just encased in with me, and i cant stop the fears.... the tears...

it seems my only getaway from it all... is nothing... everywhere i go, everything i think about... just... overwhelming...

can't stand much longer...