Just got back from spending a few hours with Angela.. When I was over at Angela's we played super smash brothers (which I have now concluded that I suck at) and kinda just hung out.. I also got to talk to Sean - her brother - a bit.. Hehe, he's awesome. Anyways, we also walked over to Taco Bell (aka - Taco Land) and ate some food. Hehe.. But like anyone cares anyway..
I think next weekend I'm gonna go back to the mall and get that other poster that I want!! This time.. I'M GETTING IT!! *is pissed*
*sigh* What else can I say? Um.. I think I'm feeling a lot better now.. And this time I really mean it.. The only thing thats bothering me in life is Ashley Toms (which I really hope she just forgot about me so I don't have to break it down to her that I don't like her anymore) and my bass lessons.. I'm thinking of quiting my bass lessons cause right now in life - there's just too many things going on and I can't seem to find the time to get in the mood. I've lost my flair to want to make it.. so I think I've finally settled with the idea of becoming another nobody.. *sigh* I don't really seem to care anymore.. There's more important things to me now.. Like friendship - self satisfaction - and love.. I have a few issues I got to work out by myself and hopefully I'll come to terms and figure them out. But there's also a few long-term issues.. My friends should know what it's about - but I also got into a discussion with my father last night.. and I learned a few things from him that really.. REALLY made me think twice of teling him some stuff.. I've now decided that I will never tell my father due to some comments made by him last night.
Apparently, my father thinks that I'm "crying out for attention" with the black hair, black nails and getting my left ear pierced. He's getting pissed off and I just don't get why he cares so much - he isn't me - he doesn't feel what I feel - and most of all he just doesn't understand me.. He never has and there's one incident that I'll never forgive him for.. Never.. There's no possible reason as to why he could do that to me and refuse my plea for help.. *shaking my head*... He'll never learn that his actions make so much of an impact with everyone around him.. He's ruined Patty's life along with what my life could-have-been.. I'll never ever forgive him for that..
I think I'll move off that subject.. I'm getting to emotional..
Ok, there's this kid at my school - named Ryan something.. I could care less but he really pisses me off.. I mean - he DOES NOT get a fucking hint.. He just keeps talking to me but I guess all my "shut up" remarks don't get through to his high-pitched-gay-ass-looking face.. I honestly think he's a obsessive compulsive liar who makes up stories to try and get attention - or maybe even pitty.. Probably both.. But on separate occasions he's came up to me and said things like "I once tried to kill myself by o.d.ing on pills - but it didn't work out" and "the reason why my voice is high pitched is cause when I was younger I was kicked off a horse and it kicked me in the balls"... DO I FUCKING CARE? NO! But yet, he insists on saying things like "I don't like it when you're mean to me, stop it - it hurts my feelings" Well Ryan - let me let you in on a little secret.. People will be rude and cruel - so regardless if you tell people your reasons as to why you're so fucking gay DOES NOT MATTER! The world isn't fair, alright? People have issues and you'd think if someone tried to kill themselves that they'd be ashamed of it and hide it away from perfect strangers.. I mean, I don't tell strangers my problems - cause you know what? You set yourself up for huge problems.. But Ryan - you're an ignorant attention-seeking whore. I don't like you - never have - never will. And one other thing - I don't pitty you at all - there are other people in the world that have worse problems than you and your pill-taking, woman-voice-ed pathetic soul. I honestly don't think that you'll ever have any friends if you continue to be as annoying as you are right now. So just quit while you stil can... And I hope you know that the reason why everyone hates you is not cause of your voice or how you look - but how you act. You're actions and choices in 'socializing' decide the actions of how others will treat you. But then again - the world isn't fair - so don't feel special..
Ok, I've had enough.. I think I'm gonna go listen to my xXx soundtrack CD and marvel at my Vin Diesel posters.. Muahaha..
Best reagards..
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