[.:remember the future:.]
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Wensday Night - And It's Too Bad, Your So Sad.. I Wish You Could Have What I Had..
2003-02-26 //_ 5:39 p.m.

Well, like I said before, today I was planning on quiting my bass lessons but a strange thing came over me on the way over to the lesson. I've decieded to continue my lessons - I don't want to give up on my dream but most of all I don't want to give up on myself.. I read my friends diary which was in responce to my entree and I totally admire her willing-ness to suceed.. She seriously wants to become an actor and I'm amazed that she doesn't let others get to her.. I truely admire everything about her.. She's an amazing spirit and she's also one of the reasons why I decided not to quit my bass lessons.

Anyways..

I went to my bass lesson and I think that I'm willing to put the time into it this time around.. I think the only problem I had was not practicing enough and not being interested enough.. I just need to find songs that I actually wanna play instead of having my bass teacher give me stuff that I don't really care about.. But I'm doing good with the bass.. Hopefully I'll continue to carry this attitude in the future.. Even though I bet I'll never be in a band.. It's just a nice exscape from it all..

Anyways, we have a dance this friday and I don't want to go at all.. It's so pointless.. It's gonna be so boring and useless.. They took out the "Glow In The Dark" dance cause it was too much like a "rave." What the fuck is all that about? God.. I don't get why parents and adults get to decide whats right for the teens and occupants of our school.. It's not right.. So, I don't plan to go cause first off - I need to be saving my money for those 3 posters that I so desperatly need.. and second off - the dance itself looks retarded.. I mean.. "Bogus Ball"... What the fucking hell is THAT all about?? Sounds fucking gay to me.. So screw that shit..

Well, what should I talk about now? Hm.. Well, *giggles* I got to see the person I like today during lunch.. like 3 times! And when I walked into the lunch room and I saw them getting pissed off at the ice cream machine .. In fact - just yesterday the same fucking thing happened to me and I was like "Hey, that shit happened to me.. It won't work .. It's on crack" and they were like "Oh, yeah? Heh.. Thanks" and I nodded and walked over to the other soda machine and amazingly they followed me over there and when I got my soda I turned around and I was face-to-face with them.. It was like the feeling that you would get when you lean in to kiss someone.. I was like "O_O".. hahaha. I wish I would've kissed them.. But eh.. I'm a retard so like usual - I just was like "Oh, excuse me.." and walked off to the side.. ;( I'm a loser like that..

But yeah.. So today was kinda fun.. Oh yeah, I had a dream last night which incorperated Jon Hoops, My brother, Some friends and I.. Ok.. It goes like this:

I was in my backyard and I was just sitting there with Jon and every once in a while I would ask him something and he would ignore me.. So I was like "..ok." and I just went on with my buisness.. Then my brother comes out and starts mowing the lawn.. *confused face* Then, Jon gets up and grabs a hand-full of those prickly ball things that come off the tree's and said "Hey Jeff, look at this!" and he kept throwing those things at me (but in the way you would like if you wanted to play a game) so in return, I grabbed some and started returning the favor.. Hehe, so we started having a fight with these prickly things and then all the sudden we stoped and he says to me "Jeff, I want to show you how much you mean to me.." and all the sudden I guess were at his house and he opens his bedroom door and I go in with him and he shows me his computer screen - and it read: "ho moma ho : [ step-mom's maiden name ] " It said EXACTLY that.. And somehow in the dream I knew what it meant and I was thinking of saying "Aww.. How cute" but I didn't end up saying it in the dream. Then as I was walking out of his room, I saw a poster of Vin Diesel with binoculers, and on the poster it read "Link X" and something else (but I forgot it) and the sides of the poster were bent..

Then I woke up.. And I guess now I'm gonna analyze the dream.. See if I can get any meaning out of it.. Kinda random though.. O_o .. Anyways.. Um.. What else?

Ok.. Here are the results from that dream:

Words like brother: Fellowship. Expect quarrels. Masculine aspect of self.

Words like lawn: Life. Prosperity and well being. Relaxation. Break from daily chores.

Words like ball: Integration. Wholeness.

Words like fight: Violent resolution. Release of energy. Building or releasing conflicts.

Words like opens: Entrance and exit. Exposed. Opportunity. Potential. Ready to make a choice.

Words like bedroom: Changes in own affairs. Concealment of family secrets.

Words like computer: Facility of communication.high technology. New areas opening.

Words like : Unexplained. Secret. You are curious about something going on around you.

Words like up: Feminine projection. Improved image. How do you want to be seeing in the outside world.

Words like walking: Freedom. Movement. Ask yourself where do you want to go.

Words like room: Central part of a house. Regarding something important within yourself.

Words like x: Examination. Invasion of privacy. Dangerous energies. Fear of looking deep under the surface.

--

Isn't that weird? Well, I'll leave you up to figuring out what means what and what comes from what.. But eh..

I guess I'll go now.. I wish everyone a good-night.. I bid you adue...

=->

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