Well, Today was a good day - besides a few [normal] cliches.. I had some positive things happen today.

The first thing was that it was Friday.. One of my favorite days of the week. Another thing was that some friends and I are planning to do something tomorrow - I think we're planning to go to Sunsplash then walk over to In-N-Out.. Should be fun if everything fucking goes to plan.

Well, at school - I actually saw JM [a person I like] during EVERY fucking passing time and lunch.. It was kinda weird - but I connected eyes with them twice today. [hehe] That kinda made me fall in love even more. Then, in the class that I have with them, the teacher decided to move everyone around in new seats.. So, long story short, [haha] JM was seated right behind me to the right... Great right? Wrong.. Cause now when I go to look at them - I have to be fucking 'sly' about it now - cause I just can't look back and stare at them, cause first off that's really fucking creepy [and me - being the stalker that I am - even get uncomfortable doing that and being noticable] and now everytime I turn around to look back at them, I have to use the "looking around the room" / "who opened the door" excuse. So, it's fucking great that I'm seated closer to them, but it fucking sucks cause I can't look at them anytime I want. But on with my rant..

I wrote a note to my friend [the one that was dumped by her boyfriend] today and I believe I really stated my side of the whole thing.. She's lucky that she had the time she did with the guy of her dreams. I know it sucks for her cause I know how heartache is.. But she should be glad she had the time she did with him.. I mean - I hate to relate the issue to my life - but her case compared to mine is SO much more simple. With me, I can NEVER tell the people I like how I feel. So, in the letter I wrote to her: "Imagine how it would feel if the person you loved so much was the one person you COULDN'T tell how you felt about them." I mean, the love of her life may have dumped her (god, I need to find a better word than "dump"..) but at least she had spent SOME time with the love of her life. I'll never EVER be able to spend any time with the love of my life.. And that's that. I mean - she may be hurting about the break-up, but I have it worse and she should be glad of what she had/has. So now that I got that off my chest.

Damn, I cuss a lot huh? Well, I personally think that cussing should be allowed.. It's a figure of speach.. I mean, in other languages it may mean something else - it's just the definition that WE, AMERICANS, put behind it that makes the words like "fuck," "shit," and "fag" such "bad" words. Personally, I say those words A LOT on a daily basis. In-fact, I was just mowing the lawn and when a whole bunch of grass got blown up in my face, I caught myself at least 18 times saying "Faget!" to the god-damned mower.. I think the reason behind this is the fact that over the years I've attached myself to that word cause of the usage that so many people have said it to me. So, I say it a lot cause I'm so used to it. So, anyways.. I cuss a lot - deal with it you fucker.

Moving-fucking-on..

.. Ok .. That was QUITE a fucking weird-ass experience I had on AIM.. *is scared shitless* ..

Ok.. Well, I'm tired right now.. But I think that I'm gonna stay up for nothing tonight.. Actually, I probably won't cause there's nothing on the fucking television worth-while.. God, I'm really pissed cause for the past 3 weeks they've replaced 'Miracles' with these other gay ass shows and it's REALLY pissing me off cause I love that show! *sigh* They better put it back in its rotation.. Or else... I'll fucking kill someone...

But yeah.. Some of my friends are having some issues.. One got dumped and one is seemingly with-drawling from the group.. It's fucking pissing me off.. Cause it's like.. When things go good for just a BIT, all the sudden something comes full-force and knocks all of us on our asses.. (Or, like my friend once said, "fate craps in your face" hahaha..). It kinda sucks - cause it's usually me left to try and resolve this shit.. It's great that I'm helping my friends but it just gets hectic sometimes.. But who am I to complain? The only thing I hope for is that they'll do the same for me when I'm low..

I guess I'll go now.. Blah.. I'll update later... Byeee shoufuuusss...

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