Eh, today messed me up. First off - our school had a second bomb threat. Nothing happened though.. And when we all had to move to the stadium outside - that whole ordeal RUINED my plans to go up and talk to Jeff. Right after everyone left for lunch, I saw him walking towards the P.E. buildings.. I think he had P.E. next but I'm not sure. I feel fucking pissed at myself cause I had the chance in the morning but noooo, I just had to be a fucking idiot and do nothing.

I dont have the time nor the patience to put up with myself anymore. Tomorrow I'm gonna do the things I've wanted to do a long time ago. I'm gonna talk to Jeff (or at least try to if he's not busy or something) and talk to Jake. I don't think I'll find self-resolution until I talk to them both. I just feel so drained right now. I mean I believe I have nothing else to really cling onto [besides my friends]. I also don't really feel like dealing with people in general. The only person that I can really talk to is Angela.. and now it seems that everyone I talk to besides Angela annoys me. I don't mean to be rude but they do. They just keep talking and to me it just aggitates me. I know that they don't mean to do it intentionally but I haven't gotten much sleep since last friday. I've only gotten about 4 hours of sleep in the past 5 days and you know how that affects my attention-span/listening abilities. *sigh* I need some sleep and I need something thats gratifying.. I'm tired of listening to the same old mumbo jumbo by some of my 'so.called.friends' and I believe that some well needed 'being alone' time would do me some good. And you know what kinda pisses me off? When people call me - cause it's getting so fucking repetitive now! Like everyone fucking calls me everyday - except for Angela and Kami. But it seems like everyone else keeps doing so. And it's just like I keep getting reminded of my rudeness.

anyways.. I gotta go. I'll update later if I can..

"And so bare is my heart, I can't hide

And so where does my heart, belong.."

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