Well, today was good. Woke up with my throat dry but not hurting. Then I got up, went online to see who was online and just kinda lingered around. I had planned to not really do anything today but I talked to Angela and we decided to do something today.

I went over to Angela's and we skated over to get something to eat, went over to priceless and shop-carted (haha, I did at least...) and then we went over to Longs Drugs.. then over to Raleys to look at magazines.. So we went everywhere. Then we went back to her house and then we just skated around there and took a few digital pictures of all of it. It was a good time. We also just talked about stuff. Good discussions - we always seem to have those. Then I was dropped back off at my house and then I talked to Jake online. I had invited him to come with us to go skateboarding but he was over at a friends house near Johnson Ranch. So he couldn't come. Maybe next time eh?

So, right now it's like 2:41 AM and I'm just listening to music and talking to Angela. I just saw "Beautiful" the music video by Christina Aguilera and that song just amazes me. Its so gripping. Great message - the video is even more touching. I personally think that everyone in that video looks great. I admire everyone in that video - the gay couple, the crossdresser, the anorexic girl.. everyone. It's a great video - but why is Christina the one singing it? Psh, she doens't belong in that video. She has like nothing wrong with her in Hollywood - she doens't deserve such recomendation for such a great video. But I can't change what happens in that money-for-blood industry.

Heh, I'm listening to the song "Killing Time" by HeD P.E. Kinda like what I'm doing. Taking my mind and using the mental agony as the bullets penetrate through the paper-weights of time.

Kiss that world goodbye.

I guess everything is going great in my life. The only things that are upsetting me is my physical health. Which yeah, I think it's getting better but it still hurts. Which pisses me off.

But emotionally - I think I'm feeling more and more satisfied with my friendships. My relationship with Jake is growing emensily and I can't believe its happening. I mean, I even put it to the test when he was talking to his ex-girlfriend Ashley online and I was too, I made up the test that I'll be like "Okay, well, I'll leave you alone so you can talk to Ashley and stuff." and if he were to say "Okay, talk to you later" then he doens't care to talk to me and probably never has/have, BUT if he were to say "No, it's okay." then he likes to talk to me and probably has/have. So I asked him... and dun dun dun... He said: "No, it's okay" and I was like "So you dont mind talking to me?" [just to double check] and he said "No." ... *huge ass smile* *does excited dance* I think that Jake and I are gonna become good friends!! Next thing I gotta do is get a project with him in Spanish so I can ask him for his phone number and BAM! Things will roll like the back of Kourtney... [Ouch, that must've hurt.. not! Nothing can hurt Kourtney.. I mean, come on! Her back! Neck! SHE HAS NO NECK!!...] Anyways..

Everything going great. Just a bit tired and my throat is a bit tingly like it'll hurt tomorrow.. I hope it goes away by Monday. I guess I'll leave with the lyrics to the song "Beauty Fiend" by My Ruin. Good song...

"It's true I'VE GOT DEMONS INSIDE ME

And sometimes they NEED to SPEAK

MY DARK PLACES make me feel UGLY

My LIPS are GLOSSED but my HEART is WEAK

I'M DISEASED

As seen on TV

PLEASE FORGIVE ME

FOR NOT BEING PRETTY

Or sexy

But GOD NEVER BLESSED ME

Here's what you'll find

Next time you UNDRESS ME...

SCARS

WOUNDS

I'm BRUISED...

Watch me bleed

I'M YOUR BEAUTY

Watch me bleed

BEAUTY FIEND

Once again

WITHOUT PERFECT TEETH

I begin the dream as I SLEEP

SOON I'VE SINNED

MY SKIN is STILL THICK

MY MOUTH AS ALWAYS

IS BRUTALLY HONEST

At my CALMEST

I'm tired of explaining

How it FEELS

TO BE EXPLOITED

And RATED

Number ONE, TWO or SEVENTEEN

FUCK what they print in THOSE DAMN MAGAZINES

SCARS

WOUNDS

I'm USED.....

Watch me bleed

I'M NO BEAUTY

Watch me bleed

BEAUTY QUEEN

Watch me bleed

I'M YOUR BEAUTY

Watch me bleed

BEAUTY FIEND

STUCK INSIDE THIS MASK OF MINE

There's no place for me to hide

Won't you please come SUCK ME DRY

Don't touch me

DON'T FUCKIN TOUCH ME

Don't touch me... WHY?

Can't you see BEYOND MY SKIN

SIZE, my SHAPE, my ASS, my TITS

I am not your PRETTY FACE

I'm just a girl

THE GIRL YOU LOVE TO HATE!!!

Watch me bleed

I'M NO BEAUTY

Watch me bleed

BEAUTY QUEEN

Watch me bleed

I'm the beauty

Watch me bleed

BEAUTY FIEND

Why can't you see BEYOND MY SKIN

SIZE, my SHAPE, my ASS, my TITS

I am not your PRETTY FACE

I'm just a girl

THE GIRL YOU LOVE TO HATE!!!

Stuck inside this mask of mine

THERE'S NO PLACE FOR ME TO HIDE

Won't you please come suck me dry

DON'T

DON'T YOU FUCKIN TOUCH ME� PIG!"

Think about that.. =->