[.:remember the future:.]
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The Reflecting God
04.25.03 //_ 7:45 PM

Well.. today wasn't much. But even though nothing exciting really happened - I totally feel great right at this moment.

1st period was a bit annoying.. although we did do this relaxation thing which really kinda helped with my day. We got to rest in that class and that like boosted me with some energy for the day ahead of me. So yeah that class was Okay.

2nd period was Good. We did more math problems which I know REALLY well.. Like I can do them like I can turn on the computer.. and that's really well!! Hehe. I'm begining to really enjoy Math now that I actually know what I'm doing.. Hehe. And I also got my copy of 'Antichrist Superstar' by Marilyn Manson which a friend on mine [coughCHARLEScough] made for me. It's a great CD.. I feel like listening to it now! wooho!

Lunch was Okay as well. Nothing happened really. Angela and I were buggin out by ourselves just talking and stuff. But Twiggy and Nat did come by and they were talking about how they were pretty impressed with my letter to Roxy. I wrote a letter to her saying how much I appreciated her and she read it to them I supppose and they were very impressed with my emotions and stuff. It was very kind of them to complament me on that. It made me feel good.

3rd period was fun. As usual. Guitar class isn't really what it seems to be - yes, I play guitar but it's what I do with my friends in that class. Like Katie Taylor, Lauren Patterson and Patrick Hancock. We joke around so much. It's so fun. We laugh like every minute in that class. Katie and Lauren crack me up so much.. Haha. But anyways..

4th period was good too. I talked to Jake a bit .. but guess what... Jake forgot the pictures AGAIN!! But he did say that he put the pictures in his backpack but it was the wrong backpack cause he grabbed the wrong one in the morning.. So I guess I have to wait till Monday to get them.. And he told me to remind him over the weekend. Tee hee. And I asked him when his juggling tournament thingy was and it's on Sunday in San Fransico. I wanted to go with him but then again - it's far away and I don't think he would take me with him.. But we only talked a bit in Spanish.. I'll go into what else happened but I gotta go in sequence of today's events..

So on the way back on the bus ride home.. The bus breaks down.. Well actually - the windsheild wippers stop working and the bus driver was such a pussy that he had to stop the bus and call for another one cause it's "an emergencey" .. We had to wait like 45 minutes and the bus driver kept saying "hang tight" like over and over.. Ask Angela.. I was getting pissed off at him. So anyways, we get on this other bus and we headed on our way back to our homes and its been like 1 hour since we were supposed to be home.. So yeah that kinda sucked - but I was listenin to my Massive Attack CD .. and sitting behind this really hot guy on the bus.. So I had everything I needed just there!! ::drools:: he's really cute - I pointed him out to Angela and she agreed. Hehe. I think he's a sophomore.. but god.. He smelled good too. ;D More to come on him later on I bet.. hehe..

So I came home and went online and BAM!! Jake's online!! Hehe. So I start talkin to him and we get on the subject about him and Brittany [his new girlfriend] and he told me that he didn't really feel like he wanted to be with Brittany anymore and he was planning on breaking up with her next week. I asked him why and he said that he just didn't feel like he wanted to be with her cause he still feels for Ashley [his other girlfrend who broke up with him earlier]. So I was trying to tell him that he should discuss his feelings for Ashley and let down Brittany easy so he doesn't hurt her feelings. And thats just it. He's afraid he'll hurt her feelings. He's such a sweetheart. I talked to him about that for a while and he doesn't want to tell Ashley his feelings cause he doesn't want to get hurt. And I completely understand what he's talking about - but I told him that he should do it so she knows how he feels out in the open. But I'm not sure what he'll do. We talked a bit then right in the middle of the converstion [which was going GREAT] my rents are yelling at me saying that we're going out to pizza and that I had to leave at that moment.. So I appaulogized to Jake and I didn't have time to save the convo so instead of signing out - I put myself as away but somehow it made me appear offline - but kept the convo that I had with Jake open. So when I got back I copy and pasted the convo with Jake into Word and then I had another convo with him. We talked some more on what he should do and then he had to go. But right befor he signed off he said "thanks" .. It made me feel all warm inside. I'm glad he appreciates having someone there who cares. I hope he comes online later so we can talk more. Cause now I feel as if I can talk to him without a reason ya know? Like I don't need to IM him saying "what was spanish homework??" but more like "Hey, whats up?" .. And now I feel like I have the courage and strength to just go up to him at school and say "What's up?" and hang out with him. Hehe. It's amazing how a conversation can change someones feelings and thoughts/actions. Weeeee!! I love Jake!! ;D

Well, I don't know what else to say. I'm listening to The Reflecting God by Marilyn Manson right now.. Hehe. Good song! Um.. I feel really good right now.. Like I'm "high on love" hehe. Well.. yeah I guess so. I guess that's all I have to say.. Except.. WEEEEEEEEEEEEe!! So I'll leave you with the lyrics to some song.. Lemme go lookin around..

"Strange to be on Marvel Hill

I've walked some years to find

I know there is a piece to fill

The gap I have in mind

No, nothing's here, I close my eyes

It's on the other side

And what I've worked so hard to gain

I'd gladly give away

'Cause I don't need this

I don't need it

I need more

A postcard from where life's a thrill

On top of Marvel Hill

But I don't need this

I don't need it

I need more

No, I don't need this

To good to be true

To good to ignore

I don't need this

I need so much more

It's too much to ask for"

"Marvel Hill" -- The Cardigans

Well, everyone sleep well tonight.. I know I will try to at least. Sweet sweet cascading dreams of Jake .. tee hee ::smiles happily:: Bye everyone - I'll update tomorrow probably. Byeee.

=->

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