[Read my previous entree BEFORE this one, cause then you'll be informed as to why I'm making this entree.]

Okay, sorry that I had my diary temporarily locked.. With what happened earlier I had a daunting suspicion that Jake had stumbled upon my diary and was reading about what I was saying about him, so in my fetul attempt to try and prevent it, I locked it. But I believe I have things cleared up..

I was talking to Lauren Patterson and I asked her to ask Jake if he blocked me. And he said that to him, it said that I'm offline. I don't fucking get it!! Something is like screwing up the connection between Jake and I's computer and now he can't see me online, like before on my previous email, and I made a new email and it was fine for that day, then it happened again! .. I'm so pissed off at that. But yeah.. It made me feel SO much more better when Lauren pasted what he said, he just said that it says I'm offline. So i have no fucking clue what the hell is going on.. I won't make another email though, but I guess I'll just talk to him at school. But I feel a lot better, I was begining to feel really depressed before when I found out that Jake was online but not for me.. see how I over-react? I do that all the time.. I never know all the facts and I go by the worse possible scenario..

But I feel a lot better. Moving on since I should try to make some use out of this entree while I can..

I'm in the process of taking down all my posters. I've taken down all my Vin posters.. and a few Korn ones, They'll probably be all gone by tonight [packed up and stuff] And before when I said that I felt like I didn't want a bday party, I want one now more than ever. It's just that I was taking that Jake thing too seriously.. While I was feeling down I even asked myself why I was feeling so down.. why I'm so attached to him and stuff. I don't know why.. but I'm just glad that he didn't block me.. but I'm so pissed off at his computer. Fuckin hobag. But I'll just talk to Jake at school..

Um.. what else.. I got my math quiz back and I got a 17/18 on it. w00t. Um.. what elseeeeeee... I think I'm gonna ask if Roxy can take me to Dimples on Friday cause I wanna go get the Marilyn Manson cd. I'm too anxious! It sounds so good by the promo I have already. I'm thrillleeeedd. hehehe. Um, and I feel the sudden urge to want to call everyone up and make sure that they can come to my bday party at the lake.. You know what? From now on I'm gonna try to make a promise to myself that I won't make any more assumptions and to not take things so seroiusly until I know all the facts.. I know it'll be hard but I should really start that.

And I worked out today.. I feel all elasticy and stuff cause I stretched out a lot and junk. And I'm gonna keep this schedule up and keep working out.. I need it. That reminds me, I need to get a swimsuit really soon for my bday party just in case we decide to go swimming and junk. And tomorrow I'm gonna ask everyone and make sure that they can come or not. I have to get the plans right and then give them directions to my house too. Just glad that Jake isn't mad at me or something.. but he still did point at my direction at lunch and talk about something.. I don't know if it was about me or if it was if it was good or bad.. but I'm not gonna worry about it -- what he has to say about me is what he has to say.. but I must say that if its bad.. I cant see why or how cause I've done nothing but be so exceptionally nice and kind to him. I would never hurt him intentionally.

Well I guess I'm gonna go. I'll update later tomorrow probably. Wish me a good day tomorrow diary. :)

=->

This song that I'm pasting lyrics to is one of my favorites.. It really touches me, you'll probably see why when you read it. You should download it too, good band.

"It doesn't have to be this complicated
Or is it just me?

I cherish you it's true
And this love, i value
If it's not meant to be
I'll bow to destiny
And settle for friends

Looking to the left, turning to the right
My life is full of no regrets
I'll settle, i'll settle for friends

Friends, i'll settle for friends
All i want, is to be your friend

Friends, we can be friends
All i want, is to be your friend

You tell me you're not ready
But i'm precious
You don't want to start something
You can't finish

Sometimes we're blinded by desire
What you want, not what you need
Then it's too late
To make ends meet"

--"Slipinslide" _ Airlock