Well, I guess today I'm feeling more grounded. Turns out that Angela's rents wont let us go to Sunsplash, but instead we'll go tomorrow I guess. And I talked to Ryan some more today, he's a cool guy and he was asking me questions and he seems interested in me. Then when he got off, he came back on about an hour later, and I talked to him, and something happened or I don't know.. and after I had said, "what's up?" he said, "leave" and signed off. ..Yeah strange I know.. I thought he blocked me and I guess he did? But then about 10 minutes later he came back online and now his status is 'Away' so I don't really wanna talk to him. In-fact.. I'm a bit afraid to talk to him now cause what if he did block me and doesn't want to talk to me anymore? I don't know.. so I'm not gonna IM him unless he IM's me first.

And I woke up this morning at 9:30.. I'm amazed I got some sleep but I guess I did, I was tossing and turning a lot though.. adrenaline and whatnot.

Then when I was on the computer, my step-mom comes in the room and was like, "I got a job for you.." and I told her, "Well, I might be doing something today so.." and in retaliation she told me, "Well, you wont be going anywhere until you do it, how about that?!" and so I was left with, "..okay.." and so I got off the computer and picked weeds in the front. And whilst I was doing that, guess who drives by and hollers at me? Jebus! [a.k.a. Crystal] Yeah! So she was screamin out of her car, "ANNIEEE!!" [cause for all of you, that's my nickname.. cause of my USED-TO-BE-RED-HAIR but now it's brown ;0] and I said hey and she drove on. I think she was on her way to work at Taco Bell. Haha, cool beans.

So after I finished the job shit, I came back online and then the inncident with Ryan happened, then Angela told me the bad news with not being able to do anything today.. and now I'm just.. bored and .. I can't place my finger on what else I'm feeling. I'm not giddy anymore though.

I've thought about the Ryan thing over and over again last night and today.. and I've come to the conclusion that I don't think he's gay or bi [if he is, great for him.. and possibly me ;)] and that he's meerly talking to me cause he must've seen me and been like, "Hey, that guy looks cool.. I wish I could get to know him." or what not. So I'm not gonna take things to the extreme, sure I'll try to hit on him every once in a while just in case if he is gay or bi just to let him know I am interested in him.. but what I'm gonna do is just get to know him, talk to him more.. and when the time's right I'll ask him if he's gay or bi-curious and we'll have to see what happens from there. I just hope he's not mad at me for something or .. whatever. I didn't even do anything bad.. But with the people that I've talked to that know him, say that he's really weird. So I guess I can expect things like this to happen often..

:sigh: Well now what the hell am I supposed to do today? I'm bored out of my mind. I think I'll ask my father if we can rent a movie or something. I would like to see Ghost Ship [cause I've heard there's this hella tight gore scene..] and I wanna go out to dinner tonight. Maybe I'll ask my father that too.

The house is being worked on currently.. My rents are on work-mode 100% and they haven't stopped fixing up the damn place. I guess they're really serious about moving and everything. We had the house sprayed and washed, the windows cleaned, the walls painted, the carpet vacuumed [which we're also replacing the carpet next week sometime], and just everything is being worked on. I hope that this house doesn't sell.. maybe I should sabbatoge some things to make the people that will come by and view the house not want to buy it. Hm.. sounds intreging.

Oh, and I set up another diary for me. Its on my links part over
<--- there and I'm going to be using it for my creative thoughts. My poems/thoughts/songs whatever. I wrote one last night whilst on my 'love-high' and I bet you can figure out who it was inspired by.. :rolls eyes:

Yeah.. I need to stop thinking about Ryan so much. OH! I'm gonna look in the yearbook for his picture.. since I know his full name and stuff. See what he looks like without his beanie! I'll be right back in a jiffy.

Haha, awwww! He looks adorable. He looks a lot better without his beanie too. Although, he gives off the impression that he'd be a nintedo-freak, porno-addicted, moron who doesn't have any sense of what's going on. I'll just have to keep talking to him.. but now I doubt that things will ever happen ya know. I honestly can't really see that happening, but I'll try to be optimistic.. I'll try.

:sigh: I don't know what to do now. I feel lifeless and like a fucking IDIOT for how I was feeling and thinking last night. How could I even CONCEIVE the idea or thought that Ryan likes me like that? What the fuck was I thinking? No one could and no one will. I feel so fucking stupid about being so giddy about something that will never happen. :shakes head in dissappointment: I'm much smarter than this.. I know better.

I'm gonna leave for now, I'll update later tonight with new info and stuff. Maybe something interesting will happen between now and then.

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