[London Calling = Ryan; Black Cherry = Me]

London Calling says:

do you have a crush on jake mckibben?

London Calling says:

i think he likes you

London Calling says:

jake typed that

black cherry says:

huh?

London Calling says:

nevermind

London Calling says:

wrong jeff spalding

London Calling says:

my bad

black cherry says:

no this is jeff spalding

London Calling says:

i know three or so

London Calling says:

all gay

black cherry says:

im not gay

London Calling says:

i know!!!

London Calling says:

girlfriend

London Calling says:

this kid alex strehl has a fattie crush on you

London Calling says:

no joke

London Calling says:

add him and cyber

London Calling says:

[email protected]

black cherry says:

um no

London Calling says:

i know you laready did

London Calling says:

already**

black cherry says:

yeah, sad isn't it?

London Calling says:

emily reese said you like guys

black cherry says:

yeah im bisexual.

London Calling says:

no shit bro

London Calling says:

so is my friend mark

black cherry says:

mark webber?

London Calling says:

allsion

black cherry says:

oh

London Calling says:

and mark w.

London Calling says:

not allison

London Calling says:

hes straight gay

black cherry says:

what?

London Calling says:

black cherry says:

okay

London Calling says:

what do you want to chat about

black cherry says:

i dont know

London Calling says:

what have you done with a guy?

black cherry says:

nothing

black cherry says:

i have never had aboyfriedn yet

black cherry says:

*a boyfriend

London Calling says:

i live in a scrath

black cherry says:

thats nice?

black cherry says:

whats a scrath

London Calling says:

if your bi you should know

black cherry says:

well i dont

London Calling says:

shut up

London Calling says:

fag

black cherry says:

then why are you talking to me

London Calling says:

GOD

London Calling says:

you added me

London Calling says:

you have no life

London Calling says:

KIDDING

London Calling says:

that was my mean friend ben gunnerson

London Calling says:

i like you

London Calling says:

your a nice kid

London Calling says:

bybyee3weq

----------------------------------------

i feel.. as if i've been slapped across the face with a double ended sword. i have no clue what just happened. all i can tell by what he's told me is that jake and ben were there. and ij ust told him my seuxuality and what will happen now? he knows. im shaking at this momnet. things that i want to know now:

1. who told him
2. is my safety in danger
3. who was there with him
4. how did he find out
5. what will happen in the future

i don't know what to think anymnore. i'm scared.. i want to go somewhere.. i need to sit and think about this.. but im afraid to go to sleep. i want to stay online to talk to see if he comes back but i dont want any more critisism.. what will happen next year? will he tell everyoen? will i turn into a statistic? will the next time someone sees me is on the channel 3 news in a body bag? .. i cant figure whats going on.. and like i said way before is i go by the worst possible scenario and work from there.. if emily told him about me.. im okay with that cause i told her before that she could if she felt they were mature enough to know. and yes, i did look up those people that he said either liked me or where bisexual and they're listed in the yearbook.

i just feel.. raped all over again. i feel like my dignity and pride and self-worth has been .. torn and ripped to shreds and then i feel like everyone is pointing and laughing at me.. i .. i cnat do this anymore. im scared.. so scared and i dont have any clue .. why? ..