[.:remember the future:.]
[hiv][older][about me][profile][d.land]
Hate Every Beautiful Day
06.21.03 //_ 8:07 PM

Okay, Yesterday/last night/this morning was really fun. Roxy picked me up and we headed over to the Sunrise mall and we walked around and went into Hot Topic where I saw they had a shippment of Bright Eyes shirts.. I wanted to get one -- but I didn't have enough money. I also saw only ONE korn doll that they had (the Jonathan Davis one) but I didn't have enoug money, therefore I couldn't get it.

We then walked over to Sam Goody and .. well they suck. They don't have really anything. Then Roxy went and ate over at some Chinese place -- and this really obesce black lady was in front of us and .. haha it was just funny at the time.

So she ate, and then we drove to Wendy's and I ate there. Where we talked and stuff, and these 2 guys came in (teens) and Roxy asked if I knew them cause they were looking at me.. I didn't know them, and after a bit they just left.

Then afterwards we drove over to Roxy's house were we got some things in her house and went across the street to Nat's house where Crystal and some other guy were there too. We watched TV and talked. It was cool. Then we got ready to go to Kareoke at Mark & Monicas and so when it was time -- we went over there and met up with Frannie and her family. I also saw Ellen and Myk there too (at the kareoke place, they performed as well.) And while we're there thinking of some songs to do -- there was about 7 REALLY hot guys that came in and sat down at the table RIGHT across from us.. So I was like, "..SCORE!!" .. haha. Yeah, and I mean seriously -- they were hot. I bet they were (in reality) bitches, but they looked hot. And then a while later their girlfriends came in, except this one dude didn't have a girlfriend with him. And I swear -- Nat, Roxy and I were watching him and he HAD to have been gay or at LEAST bi. He would (ever 5 minutes I swear) move over to one and massage their back, and like hug them, and put his arm around them, and just.. yeah he mustve been drunk or just .. making everyone else think that so he could make moves on them.. Haha, yeah and he was really cute too. So we had a fun time just watching that dude.. And he would even turn around and stare at us too.. I think he was onto us staring at him. I was gonna lick my lips at him next time he looked at me, but I never got around to it.. :( and then Crystal and I performed "Man! I feel like a woman!" by Shania Twain..

Hahahha. Yeah it was THAT sad. I hope everyone there knew I was just kidding around when I was singing.. I didn't really feel like a woman.. yeah...

And so then afterwards we sat around, and Roxy and Nat performed too. They were good. And then I performed (all by myself!!) "And I Love Her" by The Beatles. I love that song. But I sucked so much.. But it was fun I guess.

Then afterwards we all just started talking (this was at about 1:00 -- when they were closing) and I found out that a guy from my school thinks I'm cute. I found out through Frannie who once went out with the guy. She told me that he had told her that he thought I was cute and stuff.. and I guess he's bi too? I'm not sure. But she said she'd call him about me and see if we (just the two of us) can hang out.. Um.. yeah. He's acceptable but I'm not attracted to him. :(

Then we talked for about.. an hour and stuff outside of Mark & Monicas and then around 2:00 we split up and one group went to get pie and some drinks while Roxy, Jamie and I hung out and after a while of guitar playing (he had a guitar with him) headed over to his house.

When we got there, he had to feed his horses and stuff.. and we followed after him and the Barn they were in .. was creepy. He was telling us about the spiders and shit. I was scared.. There were tons of spider webs too..

And then we went inside and watched TV. Right about then I was begining to get bored.. I was zoning out and shit.. and then the other group made it back, and I think they offered me pie, but I was zoning out when they asked me, and then they forgot about me.. I was like, "..Oh kay" but yeah. I lied on the floor and I was about to go to bed, when Roxy woke me up and then Jamie took us back to Price Less cause thats where Roxy was parked.

So then Roxy took me home.. and I got in my house around 3:15AM and I locked the door, got some food and then went to bed.

Next thing I know, I'm hearing my dad say:

"Oh, you can call Ashley, you're not going to 6Flags tomorrow. You stayed out way to late, you're not going. So call her up -- you're on restriction"

And so I'm like in a state of confusion and being pissed off and tired all mixed into one undergoing drink and I couldn't seem to surface out of the issue.

Then I slept in bed till about 1:25PM and I found that I was alone in the house.. So I just kinda stuck on the computer and then I started conceiving what I was gonna say to my dad about tomorrow.. Cause I really wanna go tomorrow.. and so I had to come with a reason to let me go.

So when they came back about 2 hours later, I talked to my dad and after about 15 minutes of him bitching to me, I finally wore him down and I convinced him to let me go (as long as I'm back by 10:00PM and I help him out a lot with moving shit) .. So I guess I'm going tomorrow! yay.

And I might be having my computer taken away from me though. I decided giving up my computer is a lot better than not going to 6Flags with friends. So they might remember my argument and take me up on my offer that I just get restricted off the computer.. I hope not though.

Ryan IMed me too, and said to me: "Your a bitch, you blocked me on my other account, never talk to me again , I'm deleting you" and then blocked me and deleted me I guess. I never blocked him either.. so I sent him an email explaining myself.. but you know what? I can handle never talking to him again -- he just a prick anyway.

And we found a place to rent up in Grassvalley. We're moving there in less than 9 days now. This blows fucking chunks. I hate my rents SO much. Nothing will ever compensate for what they've destroyed.

Besides that..

I was able to FINALLY find a (poor, but yet okay) version of Korns NEW single, "Did My Time" and it was recorded off the radio but..

OH
MY
GOD

I love Korn's new shit so much! It's fucking awesome, I cant wait till the singe comes out (which should be in about 5 days)!! I just can't wait to hear a good quality version of it. It's such a kick-ass song. And this time, I'm NOT going to download the album before it comes out. I totally ruined the release of Untouchables when I d/led it about 2 months before it came out. It was horrible cause I got obsessed too early and I got annoyed with them about 1 month after the CD was actually released. Well, that will NOT happen this time! I'm only downloading a good version of the single and that's it! This will be so exciting!! I cant' wait till they tour again too! I GOTTA GO TO A CONCERT AGAIN! Hey.. maybe I can go with Angela since she likes them too. That'd be awesome.

So I'm exicted that Korn's comin out with a new CD in September. w00t [email protected]

I also found out a few new bands too (well, maybe not technically new, but to me they are) like Ladytron, Fischerspooner and The Carpenters. I know they've been around for a while but they're new to me. ;D

I just ate dinner.. and yet I'm still very hungry. I think later tonight I'm gonna fix myself some cereal with toast.. or something.

Well, tomorrow I think Roxy will be picking me up around 8:20AM and we'll pick up Ashley and then head to 6Flags. We'll stay there until around 8 then start heading back and probably stop for dinner. So I hope tomorrow turns out to be a really fun experience and we all dont get annoyed.. or bored.. or aggrivated.. or aggitated.. or just tired. :-/ that would ruin everything for everyone.

And I guess I only got 8 days left in Granite Bay. I'm gonna miss it here a lot. It was never my plan to move.. but then again -- rents don't listen nor care what their children have to say. I guess it was true -- that the last day of school was the last day I'd see some of my friends. That really sucks. I mean, its exciting that I'll be in a new house.. a new place to destroy and make my own.. and maybe it's a good thing that I'm going to be going to a new school.. I mean after all, I'll be having a new begining.. no reputation.. first impressions.. new faces (and maybe hot guys too!!).. It's all part of life I guess. I have the friends that I have from GBHS (I can always talk to them on MSN) and then ontop of that, I might make new friends over at Grassvalley. But I'm stuck on what I should do .. Should I change back to "goth" when school starts over there, or should I stay "punk" or should I just .. be a regular? I would like to think of myself as the mix of "goth" and "punk" and I think what I'm gonna do is just start school over there as goth, and then change with the season to punk once Spring comes around. Just like I did this year. I hope that I don't end up being a loner .. or rejected .. or hated upon. The only thing that I don't look forward to is the first month of school. I won't know anyone there and I'll have to just .. be alone at lunch (with it being my first time even on campus) and I'll have to wander around to make it seem like I have somewhere to go.. and I'll probably end up being the first one to every class.. Just like the "geeks" or "nerds" .. Funny how you can start at one school -- and be completely comfortable and fine with everything, then move to another school and turn into someone you once joked about. A person with no friends..

But I'm gonna be friendly at the new school. I want to make new friends. I want to start over and I want to have people want to get to know me. Maybe there I can make more guy friends than I have here at GBHS and maybe I'll tell them about my bisexuality and maybe there will be a few bi or gay guys there and maybe they'll like me. I would like to keep my mind open.. but it's hard to think like that when you know you'll feel all alone and surrounded by the wrong crowds.

I wonder what everyone looks like over there.. if its the same as GBHS .. or better? or worse? More accepting? or more hateful? ..

Hah, the thing I'm looking forward to is seeing the guys there.. I bet they'll be a lot hotter than the guys here. Most of the really hot guys are in the less-popular schools, ya know? So .. ehehee. I'm looking forward to that. Who knows? I might even find a few hot girls over there too.

Oh, and Angela called me about 2 days ago on the phone. At first I thought it was my friend Jenna.. but after about 3 minutes of her talking, I was like, "..wait, this is Angela! Oh my god! hey!!!" haha. So I guess she's gonna be buying a new computer up there and then when that happens she'll come online. I'm not sure how long she's staying up there.. but when she comes back.. I won't be here in GB anymore. :'(

I'm so enraged at my rents.. god damn. ::sigh:: but I gotta deal with this now. This blows so much though..

I woke up today and wished for tomorrow, I don't want to be like anyone else.

I woke up today and wished for tomorrow, I dont want to even be myself.

=->

« before ⎨&⎬ after »



xxx