Wow, I've updated a lot today.. anyway.

There was a quick mention of the Gay high schools that are getting attention or whatnot on the television earlier.

I was in the kitchen at the moment thinking of what to make for dinner when it came on. While trying to pay some attention to the story that was on the news, my father wasn't helping me out by continually pointing out my flaws [how I'm gonna be fucked once P.E. starts cause I'm not conditioned]. I was watching it but trying not to make it look like I was way too interested so I didn't give off any hints .. then the story on TV ended and guess what my step-mother does? She gets up and comes in the kitchen and starts saying, "Yuck, yuck, yuck, yuck, YUCK!!" I was like, "...what the FUCK is wrong with you?!" I wanted to slap her and just vomit a world of agony and truth into her mind but I resisted.. So congratulate me on having a step-mother that's Christian and homophobic! Yay!

I don't get it.. what is so bad about homosexuals? What makes them so "disgusting"?! Okay, let me tell you that me being gay was not a choice. Why the fuck would anyone choose to be gay in the first place? Everyone wants to be "normal" [I.E. straight] but I cannot help who I'm attracted to.. I love guys! I think they're damn hot and you know what? I don't fuckin' care what everyone says but ignorance annoys me. I just want to fuckin' blow up when I'm in contact with a homophobe. It's fuckin' stupid.

I mean, I'm not disgusting. I'm not horribly disfigured. I'm not extremely obese. I'm not as thin as a twig. I'm not mentally challenged.. The difference with me is my sexual preference. Other than that I'm a 'normal' person. [NOTE: By saying that I'm not trying to make myself seem higher than anyone else here. I'm just stating that in our society of today people look at those types of people in a different light. It's a fact. And no, I don't believe in the normal, typical person -- notice how I put normal in quotations above.]

I think that there are a lot of other people out there that are just like me but refuse to state how they feel.. I've been told from a few people that I say things that people are too afraid to say. But all I do is state what are obvious facts. People just gotta stay true to themselves.. that's the trick.

HA! The Madonna and Missy Elliot commercial is on! It's cool.. haha. Anyway..

That's it for now.. And with what happened with my step mother, I now know I'll never tell them I'm gay. Fuck, when I get older, I'll just move to another state and get married to a guy there and never tell them a thing about it. I don't wanna to deal with family issues and shit.. so just forget it. ::shakes head:: I struggle so hard to be an individual but I can't fully be an individual with such restrictions.. I hate my life.