Ahh, yes.. The sweet, sweet smell of accomplishment. The aroma of fulfillment has settled upon my empire.. for this day and at this present moment I feel like I have a purpose. A purpose to live; both profound and unrealized until today. Amazing how relationships can be so rewarding and enjoyable at this point in my life.

Much thanks to Angela for making this realization complete. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you, Angela. I want to thank you from my mind, through my fingers and through this tiny box -- made available through Diaryland. I thank you with my whole heart, mind, spirit [if there is such a thing] and my love. I will cherish today�s moments that we spent together.. even if it was cut short by my inconsiderate whore of rents. Just know that I will always love you, and we'll never loose our connection. I won't let it happen. We have too much to live for and too much to do. Our band.. Our cartoons.. Our road-trip.. Our apartment.. Our voice.. Our lives. Heh, sounds like I'm becoming your boyfriend now, huh? Well, I don't mean to get all mushy.. just want you to know how much I care about you. :) Hehe.

I took a glimpse at my past entree's earlier and I'm beginning to realize that the little events that go on in my life.. don't really matter. All the small details that I would spend typing up for hours and hours.. mean nothing to me now. Sure, it's a great thing to do at the moment.. but that's not what I want to look back on 10 years from now. It's about time I change my writing style to something more timeless, if you understand what I'm talking about. More talk about things that aren't so based on the present time so I can look back and know what I'm talking about. But don't think I won't post what's going on in my life.. Of course I'll still be doing that.. that's one reason to keep this diary up. :)

I'm listening to "It's All Nice On Ice" by Modest Mouse at the moment. The rhythm of the drums and bass lines just .. make me feel all giddy inside. Modest Mouse is quite possibly one of the most original bands I've heard in a long time.. I mean, I can't even find another band that is even remotely similar to them.. sure some bands may have like .. a FEW guitar riffs that may resemble Modest Mouse but they don't compare. Plus, Isaacs voice is unlike any other. I think it's very cute.

Anyway, a little bit of what's going on with my online "boyfriend," Liam. Yes, I don't remember if I mentioned to you all.. but I asked Liam out [he lives in London..] online and he said sure. I feel great that we're "dating" even though it really doesn't make a difference. I think I made it clear enough to him that if he were to find a guy around his area that he wanted to date -- he could do so.. I mean, it's not like we're going to be meeting each other anytime soon. So I guess we're just "dating" so we have the privilege to say that we have a boyfriend.. [Haha, well at least that's why I wanted to date him.. Plus he's incredibly sweet, funny and interesting. I love English guys.. so cute!]

Last night, Liam and I were talking and I asked him what he thought about cybering [AKA: cybersex] and he told me he had never done it but would probably try it out..

I'll be honest with all of you.. er myself for the time being -- I have had cybersex before. It's nothing more than just saying erotic things that depict sexual nature while you masturbate so I gave it a shot.. It didn't really make a difference.. only it was kinda a turn on. Heh, so my feelings on cybersex is that it's .. nasty in a way but hey -- it's really none of my business to tell everyone what's "right" and what's "wrong."

So.. I told him that if he was open to it, he could talk to me if he wanted to give it a shot, cause I could teach him.. And no, we didn't get right into it but about an hour later I said something to him like, "::sits up on his bed and starts to hum::" and .. one thing led to another .. and let's just say, I had a really fun time cybering with him. Haha, I'm not so innocent as I may appear. Watch out tubaboy, I'm getting me some online ass! Pft, yeah right. Like I could score the same thing in reality.. :rolls eyes:

Just as a side note: There will be a new link coming up on my diary that will lead to Angela and I's cartoon website. No details will be released as of yet. All I can say is the site will be hilarious.. We came up with such funny cartoon ideas and sketches.. Things will be up and running in probably the following months. No need to worry, you'll probably forget I mentioned this in about 5 minutes but I'll release more details as they're finalized. ;D So look forward to it.
Here's one hint: One of the characters in the cartoon is named after a fictional person who signed my guestbook. ;)

Sometimes I just want to hang up my mask. I feel like I should just stop hiding myself from people and just be open with them and myself.. but I can't stop the throbbing thoughts that if I let my guard down.. they'll betray me. I have some friends that I can always trust and come to for support but then this year I'm going to be thrusted into a whole new atmosphere. A whole new realm of reality where I'll have to sacrifice my well-being to try and communicate with new people. I'm not usually the type of guy who will go up to someone and start up a conversation just out of the blue. There has always been someone there to back me up.. but not this year. I'm staring over completely new.. completely alone. But I guess you have to suffer through loneliness in order to achieve complete gratification. Just too many thoughts of the new school year rushing through my feeble mind.

The loathsome coyote cannot devour his pride until he attempts to achieve his pride.

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