I now have new apparel concerning the new school year. Isn't that brilliant? It's sad.. in every store that I attended I noticed that everything was in the genre "punk" and was marketed at sky-high prices. $29.99 for a pair of Dickies pants at Hot Topic? Uhm, I think not. I got the exact same pair over at Macys for $14.99 on sale. Funny how you can go to certain stores and they market things higher when all you have to do is search around and you're bound to find the same exact thing for a cheaper price. Why you ask? Cause some stores know how devoted people are to certain brands.. so they fuck up the prices so they can scam us [Uh-mericans] into paying even MORE of our own money to feed the greedy corporate whores.. as if taxes aren't fuckin' high enough as it is.

There was an incident earlier today while I was at the mall. My father and mother took off to go look for clothes in Mervyns or whatever so I headed over to Hot Topic to check out their new shipments and guess what happens on the way over there? A couple of guys noticed the bracelet I was wearing [which happened to be Rainbow colored beads that I got from Angela] and grabbed me to the side and started cussing me out. Shit like:

"Dude, you're a faget aren't you? Look at those rainbows.. Such a faget! Go to hell and die, faget!!"
and
"Why don't you go suck cock and die faget.."

I tried to maintain my pride but couldn't help being plundered to the ground.. they guys didn't lay a finger on be besides pushing me against the wall. It was more of a verbal assault on my dignity and pride. Before the incident had happened I was feeling fine about things.. I was somewhat proud I was gay [but I wasn't flaunting it around like a crazy attention-whore, the only thing remotely "gay" was the bracelet] but afterwards.. they left and I tried to stop the tears from dribbling down my eyes.. I couldn't stop shaking.. I was scared.

I felt like I had been assaulted.. my will to do anything had been destroyed. I felt like falling to the floor and just dying. After a few minutes of just sobbing in a corner.. I finally got myself together and walked to Hot Topic.. I don't know but that store made me feel at home. Strange, but anyway.. I looked around there and then my family came to see if I saw anything I wanted. I told them I didn't and wanted to leave right then. They were like, "..okay" and didn't ask one thing as to why. I'm glad, I wouldn't have told them anyway.

As we were leaving, I saw one of the guys that verbally attacked me. He was with a bunch of bitches in the parking lot. I didn't say anything and he didn't see me [we were pretty far away from each other anyway] .. The thing I wanted to do most was beat the shit out of them and proclaim I wasn't gay but merely wearing the bracelet cause I wanted to for no reason. But then that only got me even more enraged.. the fact that what they said.. was right.

I am a faget. And I guess I should go suck some cocks and die. Wouldn't make much of a difference would it?

I just feel so low at this moment. The whole new clothes thing is nice and all.. but material items cannot repair one bit of my shattered pride.

Ramma lamma ding dong. Does that amuse you? Reading my personal torment.. :shakes head: Why am I mad at you, you didn't do anything. Nice to know I don't have anyone to hug right now. ;( I could use one of those.

=->