"I wanna live in a city with no friends or family.."

Sometimes I feel like I'm being smothered.. like I come online and as soon as I sign in there's at least 5 people that immediately IM me .. and even if I don't respond they just keep talking.. 'Hey, hows your life going?' .. 'Meet any hot guys??' .. it's almost as if they're just talking for the hell of it.. I don't even have to take part in the conversation. Just lately I've been bombarded with new people.. new names.. I mean, everytime someone IM's me I have to think SO incredably hard of what their name is.. or who they are.. I never remember.. Too many people on my MSN and AIM lists to even recognize anyone..

"I'm gonna look out the window of my color T.V.."

I need to start looking outside of my already pre-ordained life style.. It's like everythings planned out for me but I need to take a second to look out.. see whats really out there.. Sometimes I feel like I don't even exsist at times, like no matter what I do or say no one seems to care and no one seems to listen.. so why even bother? I know I'm making friends over here in Nevada City and all that fun stuff.. but lately my horoscope has been mentioning things like, "Keep an eye out for your friends, they may have alterior motives to try and hang out with you.. try to find out why" and stuff. So, I just dont know anymore..

"I wanna remember to remember to forget you forgot me.."

Now that I've moved here to Nevada City.. there's been the few friends that have kept in touch with me and to those people I'll always consider friends.. for those are the true friends that I hope will stick by me through life.. but then I look back and I realize that so many people have already forgotten about me. What about Jake? I wonder how it must feel to be able to block someone out of your so completely and calmly as he did to me. He may be able to forget about me but I cant forget about him. I surely don't think about him as much.. and I also don't respect him as much either. I want to remember to remember to forget you forgot me.

"If you could be anything that you wanted to be, you'd be disappointed, am I right?.."

Sometimes people don't have anything better to do than be mad at people.. constantly finding negatives through the positive.. always a flaw.. Focusing on the downfalls of everything can ruin you. I know.. I've been doing it for the past 10 years..

"I could have told you all that I loved you.."