Came home.

The door was locked (thank god I thought about this ahead of time this morning and put on my wallet with my house key).

Dad was gone. Looked like he just got back from the store to get groceries and then left.

Zach came and told me the news..

My Uncle Richard (Dick) has just passed away.

That is all that I know as of now. I tried calling my father on his cell phone but he didn't pick up. He took the motorcycle to see Grandma and Grampa B & R. I don't know when he left, but it must have been sometime before a quarter to 2:00PM cause I saw a message on the message machine that was from that time. Must not have been home to answer it.

I have no clue as to what may have caused his death. He was going through Kimo (?) therapy.. for cancer in his throat from smoking. He would smoke a pack a day.

But do any of you remember last summer.. or maybe it was 2 summers ago (don't know if I had my diary up then or not..) but he came to watch over me for the summer? I remember I used to think of him as the coolest asshole ever. He was mean and shit back then.. but even before he passed away I KNEW he did it out of love. He was the coolest Uncle. I really loved him. I remember when we sat down and watched "Uncle Buck" together (that was his nickname, cause he was an asshole most of the time) and it was just so nice to have everyone around .. laughing .. smiling .. loving.

And now, his spirit has moved on. I feel immensely sad. Not to the point of breaking down .. cause it just hasn't hit me yet. I'm definitely going to attend his funeral. I know I'll cry. I just know.

But that is all for an update right now. I'm going to be making a memorial entry for him when my actual time on the computer arises. (I'm not supposed to be online till 6:00PM)

But it feels like there's something lodged into my throat.. can't speak. Loss of words. Loss of thought.

Loss of life.

=( I'll update later.