Eeeehhh...

Having issues at school with boyfriend and possible new boyfriend. I don't know! Okay .. here's the beefy weefy. ... okay scratch that ...

Well.. I've been talking to various people who have told me that Jeff may be BI CURIOUS not actually BI. I've realized some of the signs as well.. like how it's kinda hard for him to do anything major (IE: making out) and does kind of act straight in most instances. But I'm not doubting his sexuality. I know I'd be pissed off as shit if someone doubted mine. But how could they! I'm about .. okay never mind. I'm not as "gay as they come" cause HELLO I'm not wearing a fucking rainbow.

Which leads me to this other subject. Nik looks like a witch cause of the FAT ASS zit on his nose.

Which leads me to my case in point: I'm going as a hooker for Halloween! That's FUCKING right! I'm borrowing a dress (that's sorta frilly, but black and white with checkers) and a scarf and gonna wear some make up and smear it all around.. and make my hair look RAVAGED!! That's right.. RAVAGED!! So, I'm going to have to change at school and the sorts.. Hahaq.

And yeah.. back to my boyfriend issue. Jeff has been acting kinda strange but at lunch, he's been asking me if he can walk Megan (*quivers*) back to class.. And me, not willing to expose my true feelings allow him to, knowing that he likes Megan (he told me) and wants to date her (as well as me) .. And I made the mistake of telling him before hand that I don't mind if he has a boyfriend and a girlfriend cause I find that to be two different sexes.. but I don't want to share Jeff.. I don't want to be secondary .. I want him .. not him and Megan .. And when he would flirt with him (she threw him to the ground and sat on him RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE) I would get so pissed off.. but I've been able to keep an image on the outside not nearly as close as how I'm really feeling .. and even when asking if he can walk her to class.. I get really jealous. And I want to say, "no.. I want you with me, not her" but I'm not the demanding type. I'm not going to be a bitch to him.. I wrote him a letter explaining how I'm feeling .. I was going to talk to him today but instead he literally dragged me into Stevens car with Jamie and took us to the Record Connection so he could get his Sisters Of Mercy CD.. I don't see why I went cause after that we just dropped him off.

But it was fun to shout random things at people walking by while in the car. Hahaha.

So I'm NOT breaking up with him, I just need to express how I'm feeling .. cause I don't like it when he's with other people.. And Daniel is saying that he thinks he's straight and just willing to be with guys .. and I know that Daniel wants to date me as well .. or at least fool around .. and I would like to experiment with Daniel (he has experience) too but I don't want to cheat on Jeff. But, with Jeff we've been kissing a lot (not making out) but kissing. Whenever we go to class or whatever. It's nice. Hehe.

Anyways .. Now I have to decide between Halloween with old friends .. or Halloween with new friends .. If I stayed here I'd be going to Will's party, then the graveyard, trick or treating, then to see Rocky Horror Picture Show .. or if I go to Granite Bay I go trick or treating and seeing all my great friends.. which is worth it. *jumps up and down* Spiders spiders spiders spiders...

*sigh* Well... I don't know. Alien: The Directers Cut is going to be in theatres today!!!! I have to go see it! My father wants to see it as well.. WOOHOO!

Well.. I'm going. Meh meh meh meh meh. Schmeh to you.

xx