after my writing was erased once, I made a post saying I wouldn't make another one cause I'm way too pissed off .. after today .. but then I began to type it again, and then internet explorer opened up another webpage on the same fucking page .. everything was lost AGAIN. so fuck details I am WAY TOO FUCKING PISSED OFF AND DEPRESSED FOR THIS SHIT.

my dad found out I'm gay through a letter he read from my friend Jillian. he talked to me about it. he doesn't accept it. he doesn't believe in it.

I'm mad that he invaded my privacy. I'm mad that he's ignorant. I'm mad that he doesn't understand.. I'm mad that he wants me to be someone I'm not.. but I'm sad that his views on me have changed.

I truely do not feel good anymore.

I really need to be alone for a while. I don't want to see Jeff.. by the way, Jeff gave Laura a hicky .. yeah .. and no one told me but Sara did (thank you) .. and I'm quite pissed.

But I got more evidence that Steven is bisexual. I saw him and was like, "Heeeeheee" and he was like, "What? You want me to rub your leg again? *IN A REALLY FLIRTY VOICE*" and I was like, "..wait WHAT" and he was like "Nothing!" really quickly with a geeky smile on his face. Then as he left I was like, "Byyyyeeee STEVEN!!!" and he was like, "Bye babe (or buddy .. or something)" really flirty-like. He HAS to be bisexual.

And Eric told Jordan (the freshman guy I'm obsessing over) that a guy likes him, and at first he freaked out but I made Eric talk to him more, and he said he's cool with it, wondered if the guy is cool, and if he was clean.. (haha?) Weird.. but I think he's sooo cute. Maybe he wants to get to know the guy that likes him .. who knows.

And I talked to Grant. Meh. Doesn't matter though.

I just don't feel good that my dad knows .. so much is ruined .. and I feel like I'm torn .. broken .. and .. eh .. alone.

I need to think. I'm sorry this entry was all over the place.. but this FUCKING COMPUTER/INTERNET fucked up my entry TWICE already .. so I'm getting EVERYTHING out so I don't have to just focus on one thing.

I don't want to see or talk. I just want to be left alone for right now. I'm just. I dont know. I'm going.