Yesterday was quite possibly one of the best days I've had in a very long time. Well, nothing huge happened, I didn't meet Alison Goldfrapp or something (Oh, I wish) but I did go out to dinner with someone I've been meaning to get to know for a while now. Chris .. uh .. *forgot his last name* but I met him online and I've seen him around at a lot of concerts around town. He's very (do not mistake my spelling) a-t-t-r-a-c-t-i-v-e and I guess for Valentines day he was going to go on a date with some chick but she never called him in time and instead (luckily) I was online and he asked if I wanted to go out to dinner and hang out for the night. I accepted (woo!) and I cannot express to you how fucking nervous I was, not only did I have butterflies but every butterfly was vomiting acid of some sort and I felt like I was going to die. Heh, okay (not exactly but yay for exaggerations) and even though (I guess) it wasn't a 'date' per se, it felt like it since there was a lot of silences through out the night � I wasn't nervous when I was with him (which is strange, as soon as I saw him I was fine) but I just didn't know what to say.

I met him over at the school parking lot around 6:00 and once I saw him come out of his truck we got inside his car and started thinking of where we were going to eat. We went to some Mexican food place called Amigos and were seated at this small 2 person table (which was uncomfortably located really close to another booth) which was fine but I felt awkward � like the people were watching us for some reason. Anyways, we talked about movies and music.. he's seriously a very intelligent guy. It was seriously so awesome of him to pay for everything (sorry, I'm fuckin flat broke) and when we did talk � it was awesome. It was interesting for me cause he brought up different point of views that I had never thought about. <-- something I didn�t expect which was an awesome plus.

After dinner we went to Memorial Park and just sat on the swings and talked. It kinda blows cause now that I think about it � I had so much things I wanted to talk about but only thought about right now. I'm the kind of person who dwells on certain situations long after they've taken place and I always come up with the perfect things to say � when it's already too late. Anyways, earlier before we went out, I guess we discussed that it wasn't going to be a date and the reason why I kept thinking it was, was because of the fact that I don't think very many guy friends would go to dinner � have awkward silences � go to a park and talk and .. yeah. It just seemed like a date to me. But as far as I know � he's not interested a relationship � let alone with me.

After we talked on the swings for a while, we went back inside his car (since it was cold outside) and talked some more. I mean, (sorry, I'm thinking about this more as I go on here) but wouldn�t a friendly "night out" consist of not so much talking? It was great and all but friends would've been more at ease with each other. I don�t know, I'm thinking too much. So after talking (and a close call with a park ranger, haha) he took me home. On the way back, I felt like such a fuckin' female cause 1) he payed for dinner, 2) we went to a park and talked (kinda girly eh? Well FUCK YOU, ;D) and yeah, he's way more masculine than me � and that makes me sad yet happy all in one.

I respect Chris so much as of now. I also can't wait for his concert on March 21st � should be rad. I really wanna hang out with him more, just this fascination with.. I don't know. I need to stop talking/thinking about Chris. Not healthy.. not helping..

So I'm really in love with Damien Rice, the song "Volcanoes" is such an interesting musical piece. The violin ... the words ... just everything. Perfect.

"What I am to you, is not real. What I am to you, you do not need. What I am to you, is not what you mean to me. You give me miles, and miles of mountains and I'll ask for the sea."

I also just bought Matchbook Romances "Lies & Alibies" .. sounds good so far.

Well, I should go, just had to post about that night on Valentines day. You know, that was probably the first "date" (if you want to call it that) I've ever had on Valentines day, and I couldn�t have asked for anything else.

Nite deers.

xxxx