Okay, that picture of WHATEVER being killed or whatever on Roxy's journal just scared me. That was horrific and especially since I'm scared I might get caught -- now everytime I look back I'm expecting to see something gorey waiting for me. EEee..

I got a call from Jeff today. I felt kind of sad cause I was such an ass to him before he moved to Arizona. I wrote him a letter and I'm going to send it soon. I always act like an ass then feel bad later on for being that way. I always regret my actions. Not good.

A couple days ago, some chick from the North San Juan school bus (ugh) shouted at me through the window, "Hey Jeff, Are you talkin' SHIT about North San Juan??!" .. I turned around and said, "...no?" and she then gave a corny fake smile and a thumbs up and because I hate people that want to start shit then act like nothings wrong when THEY'RE wrong, I flipped her off and she was like, "FUCK ME?! Fuck me??? Fuck me?! Fuck me! No, Fuck YOU you fucking faggot!" and I said, "I don't fuck chicks.." and she was like, "wait, WHAT?!?!" ... It was so funny now that I think of it but at the time I started getting scared and I instantly thought in my mind, "Move, cause when that bus pulls away, they're gonna spit on you" and so I told my friends to move with me and SURE ENOUGH, when the bus moved, some asshole tried to spit on me. I was like "What the fuck?" .. I walked home feeling lower than shit and scared for my own being. After listening to Korn for a while and just sleeping it off (sleeping = the best way to not think about things) I felt better. I'm just SO tired of letting others dictate my emotions. I'm tired of being pushed around. My emotions are always at the hands of other people and I had enough. I'm stopping that now.

And what's this shit about Mr. Bush wanting a Federal BAN against gay marriages? As if the fuckin' hick hasn't already made an asshole out of himself already. Ever since he's been signed to office all he's wanted to do was fuck with Iraq -- and I don't know about you but isn't the whole question of "Should same sex marriages be allowed" discriminatory? It's like saying "Should we allow black people to marry white people?" ... What the fuck? Isn't there an Ammendment that stops discrimination of sexual orientation or am I wrong? I must be stuck back in the 1750's or .. whatever cause I think it's time for a fucking change. I don't like the fact that a hick who can't even write his own speeches correctly is about to dictate my life. I marry whoever the fuck I want -- thank you very much and what I wouldn't give to punch that fucker in the dome.

Yeah, so I hate politics. I hate currency. I hate economy. I hate the stock markets. 'Oh no, the children, won't someone PLEASE think of the children?!' -- How would you like it if Mr. Bush was against abortion (which he is) and having rape victims be forced to have a child.. or a family having a child born with major defects/handicaps knowing full on before the birth it had these problems, yet making it suffer just to have it die? Don't we have an over population as it is? People are living longer and more fucking hags are driving around -- getting into more accidents, slowing more traffic and pissing more and more of us people who want to get anywhere, anyhow right now or else my Starbucks coffee is going to get cold -- and you know how pissed I'll be cause I can't blame myself for being such a hypocrite for all this stock market shit. Oh well, I guess we can go ahead and fuck around in Iraq -- knowing hundreds of innocent people are dying and YOU WANT ME TO FEEL BAD CAUSE YOUR FRIENDS FATHER DIED? I'm SO sorry, let me just take time out of my busy schedule to attend this funeral and feel the emotional depth of sadness while thousands of Americans people are dying everyday and I don't fucking care cause I'm an American and I shouldn't have to worry about that. All I need is to buy more American products -- boost the economy only to have things inflate once more and blame foriegn products for our laziness.

Sorry for that tangent. I'm pissed. I guess all I need now is a couple of bombs and an innocent country.

xxxx