I had chosen not to update, but I couldn't sleep and I kept thinking about this. But I can't explain what exactly I wanted to say on here. Lots of things I guess are just going through my mind -- most prominetly is how everyone keeps talking to me about their sexual escapades. I really honestly do no care how many times you've had sex. I don't care how. I don't care when. I'm really not interested unless you have a penis and I like you like that. Which is only my boyfriend so there really isn't room for you to speak. But seriously, all the gay guys I know are incredable sluts. They all have had sex and made out and just on and on and I haven't. I'm not saying I want to cause I don't. But I really don't like sluts.

[This is about Grass Valley friends]
I love my friends. I don't like them, but I love them. Big difference. I've made more friends here in Grass Valley than I have in Granite Bay but it doesn't account for the assholes at my school. And most of the people I know -- know me, I hardly know them -- let alone would I stop and talk to them about how swell everything under the sun is.

You have no clue how many times I was about to delete that before I finally realized that I need to be honest. I mean, my best.. okay I'm not going to get into this. There's exceptions though.

I do know that incredably flamboyant gay guys are obnoxious and I find them distasteful in how they represent themselves as well as the gay "community." Sometimes I wonder if I represent myself wrong. I feel like I'm at a constant battle with who I am. I'm still not sure who I am and I don't know what fits me.

I honestly don't know what to say, I regret even begining this entry.