I don't even feel myself anymore.

But I find myself feeling strangely attracted (back) to Hal Sparks. I've been seeing him around a lot (Spider Man 2: the elevator scene) and then he's been featured on "I love the 70's" .. I spent 10 hours watching EVERY hour long episode of EVERY year from the 70's. I loved it. And Hal is now my new bed time dream.

I wish I could just feel like there's someone here for me. Whole-heartedly. Behind me. I'm tired of hearing love songs and hating them because I have no one to bleed with. And I know I'll "find someone" and I know that I won't feel like this for long. But for now, it's all I can think about and it hurts. Consistantly.

I can't even seem to feel comfortable with my best friend anymore. I mean, we'll stop talking and I'll just be searching for words to fill the gaps but it never used to be that way.

I've been meaning to walk down to the creek and sit and think. I like to think and lately I've just been sifting my mind in TV and doing nothing. I haven't really written anything. Haven't typed more for my story. Or made anymore music. I feel like I'm in a numb slump. I guess that's okay.

I love Chronic Future.. The song "Time And Time Again" is amazing. I love it. Mmm.. thanks to Fuse for airing their video. :)

So this entry was a bunch of bullshitting. Sorry.

xxxx