I don't know what to really say. I went and hung out with a few friends today. That was pretty fun, except Angela had already left for Minnesota and we stopped by to see if she could "come out and play" but she left. So, Angela : I came to see you but .. alas you were gone. :(

Today was actually pretty pointless, we didn't do anything major. Just drove around, went to the mall, I stole 2 HIM pins for my friends.. not even something for me. But I did wear my Britney Spears T-shirt and everyone kept staring at me. It made me a sad panda. But one store was playing the full Self-titled CD of hers and we just stuck around singing along. It was nice.

Then for the Fourth Of July we just watched a few things go off and then drove around "looking for hot guys" which I believe was a lie to have Alices head in my crotch (she had to lay on everyone in the back due to lack of room) or whatever her name is. I don't like girls. But wouldn't it be a nice scam if I was straight and was totally using it to get more female friends. Heh.

So something happened yesterday online whilst I was talking to this guy and I couldn't stop thinking about what he asked. I mean, I would love to.. but I felt so weird cause I had to leave right after he asked me. And I don't know what's going on. I don't know how I should feel. What about Chris.. I haven't talked to him in so long and it feels like a untied knot.

And I just feel STUPID. And I hate EVERYTHING about me. I hate everyone too. I want to scream but I want to cry and I'm tired of lying to these people.. these friends. I have to go. I don't want to leave but I should stay gone.

xxxx