I didn't do much today. But I felt a lot of things.. Happiness to see my good best friend down in Granite Bay .. Joy in seeing her be happy with the signed Otep poster I got for her ..

Sadness when feeling like I needed a hand to hold on ..

Alone when I realized that maybe that person I want to hang onto doesn't want to hold me up when I'm weak ..

And I don't like knowing that everyone else feels complete with their hands tucked in their pockets while .. the only thing I have to hold is myself. I fall asleep with thoughts racing through my mind. My tongue in my mouth and my eyes in place ..

And I can't stop staring at my fan .. in thoughts. It makes me hold onto my pillows tighter. It helps me sleep.

"The yearning to be near you, I do what I have to do .."

I hope you're reading Anthony. :)

xxxx