[everyone's afraid to be forgotten]
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Silent In Arms Of Snow
September 09, 2004 //_ 6:00 PM

So I don't think very many people read my diaryland .. at least not much of my close friends .. or people I come into contact with. I'm going to talk about how I'm really feeling.

Right now: I feel really ugly. Not like "oh my god, I hate my hair .." .. not that kind of ugly .. but ugly from inside. I just feel like all my emotions mean nothing to myself. What's the point in caring when I don't even know how to interpret myself??

Yesterday: I was feeling like .. distanced. Lately I just keep thinking about these little details that will soon add up to a mountain of portraits. I have a lot of memories, some I wish I could erase .. but I can't. I don't have a clear conscience. I would admit to certain confessions .. but I don't feel up to it right now. I have enough shame as it is.

And if you really cared, you wouldn't be here.

xxxx

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xxx