"Oh good God what has he done
Traded a heart for a bullet and a mind for a gun
Said he needed a bat to clear the way"

I don't even feel like I can talk in here anymore. I always have something to say, but now, I'm concerned about the people that read it. The people that I know, that read it. I thought I had found someone to put a solace through. But I'm not so sure anymore.

And that's just like me: find something - have it around for a while - then find reasons to disagree and move on. So typical me.
And an uncomfortable reality of realizing you have to respond.

I don't believe I have cried in more than five months, and just a few moments ago - I did. I miss Angela so much .. all the memories and how .. amazing she is. The one and ONLY person I have ever agreed with everything on .. the ONE person that I trusted .. the ONE person that was there. My first real best friend. My ONLY real best friend. I hope that through all these changes - that friendship hasn't.

I want to go back. Take it all away. I don't care about what slates must be cleaned - I want it back to my simplicity. The shame train. Sniffway. The frog. Liberating the meat. The effects of being high (a cartoon). Homestarrunner. No orange throwin'. Lunch time. Hiding behind the pillars from everyone and talking. Our crappy 2 notebooks. The creepy house at night. Staring at the stars. The online Kami-Us incident. Collaboration Days.

I want it all back.
[CAN YOU HEAR ME?]
I want how content I was.
[CAN YOU HELP ME?]
Replace what I have with what I had.
[I WANT TO LEAVE THIS PLACE.]
And I'll be happy.
[I THINK I'VE HEARD IT ALL.]
I promise.

xxxx