i'm giving up on liking this guy. why did i like him in the first place? i'm not too sure.. i think i let myself run with the idea of having a crush. it doens't mean much anymore. he's not my world, and to think he could replace the missing elements in me .. how extremely lazy of me.

it's not like someday he'll come up to me and reveal that he likes me too. things never work out that way. so i might as well just stop, and you know what? i'm not even upset about that. i'm willing to let go of something that i never really had.

"you gave away what you never really had
and now your purse is empty, i can see why you're sad"

and here i am again. sitting in this same chair. staring at the same walls. listening through the same speakers. wishing the same things. sharing the same space : with myself.
all i really need ..
and i'd be a little more content knowing i wasn't so alone in all this. 5 years down the road, will lead me where? i want an orb, something to show myself wrong.
come on, die young
i want to reach out and feel something besides this empty space. but i tend to want a lot of things that never prove themselves worthy. i'm sorry.. but it's okay. i'll be alright.

xxxx