a kid on my bus who was sitting behind me said something along the lines of "that is fucking gay" and the guy who was sitting in the seat next to mine (who talks to me sometimes, but i don't talk back) said "don't say things about gays, i have friends who are gay. one is a friend and one i don't know well enough"

and i knew i was that person he didn't know well enough. but i didn't take attention to the conversation (even though he was practically yelling on the bus) and so he got the girl sitting behind him (who i used to be friends with) state a question to me proving my homosexuality. she asked me: "why don't you like daniel anymore? you two would be a cute couple." .. and i used to like him last year.
but still i can hear those dirty birds chirp away
so i turned around and said "i don't like him anymore" and the guy next to me was like "i knew it! i just wasn't too sure" .. and i was pissed because i hate being put into false situations just to prove a juxtaposition.

otherwise i'm doing fine. trying to get by without causing too much attention to myself. i think i'm starting to loose my identity [once again].

I'm guilty of wanting to become somebody I'm not. I want to look like I'm comfortable in my skin. I want to feel the stares raking across my body. I want to feel the comfortable silence of my clothes attaching themselves to me. I want to find a new wardrobe.
I guess I'll need a new life.
some lies last a lifetime
I want to find the person beneath the skin that for once : doesn't make me feel ugly. I'll be fine.
Right?

xxxx