and i know the feelings i have inside are useless. they're all based on ideal circumstances and what i've read.. nothing is really there holding something together. but still, i feel for you. i have no clue why, but i still have this (insane) little idea in the back of my mind that i'm holding out for something bigger than all this. something farther than i could even begin to put together.

and it's silly cause i have so many hopes and dreams .. and to know that that's all they'll ever be, makes me feel dirty. i'm unclean and unsanitary.

and even though i have someone to hold.. i'm still not sure if this is all i can get. because it's him who i really want.

(i never said a thing)

xxxx