3 pages of feelings i wrote out. about these 4 people in my life. they can never escape my mind and as much as i tell myself they dont matter to me, they obviously have left stains all over my thought process.

it makes me feel so barred when i know these people will never read what i wrote. i will never tell them what i think. i will never inform them on the false meanings i hold behind their name.

it's just impossible to say what i mean. and its hard to exist when i feel like i don't matter.
i'm not made out of matter?
were they really worth those tears i cried today? i'm just feeling unstable right now. i just need some sleep. and everything will return to the regular frame of mind i have.

decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse and time yet for a hundred indecisions.

xxxx