sometimes i close my ears
and i can go back to seeing you
(i have so many things i wish i could've said)
but i hesitated because i was never sure how you'd react
i kind of have that sick feeling
(deep down)
when i'm nervous
and i've heard some things
that you've said about me,
but i can't be sure yet.

the words begin to smear
the meaning fades and it's still just
you
and
me
in a room full of silence
i'm holding you arm so you wont forget
but who i am to you
is less than what he (could) means to you

to self-create a 2 way decision
_ and loose.
to spend days planning the perfect conversation
_ when the other person wont talk.
to get their phone number and finally decide to call
_ only to hang up when they dont answer.
to have them finally notice you
talk to you
touch you
_ only to find out they're not really there.

what it's like
________ to be alive
_______________ then shot down.

xxxx