feels like clouds beneath my wings
a ton pound brick landing on my back
crushing the feathers, bleeding the cement
and his kiss .. so far away
his lies .. so near my faith
whatevers left laid prints behind
and there's no turning back .. not now
it's a chill, laid out for thrill
everythings still white, nothing looking just as bright
you should know i'm counting on you here

looking through pictures of sent and realizing i was never in them, that cold feeling filling my chest - remembering i'll never mean that much to you - just leaving me like icey winter breathing .. so restricted my throat had become, i was choking on my heart. this suspended moment when everything i felt came wellling in my eye, i couldn't stare any longer at your divine smile, so i had to look away. i had that image held in my heart for so long, holding out for that one moment when you'd begin to share - and when the time had arrived i pressed the gas pedal and sped the red light. maybe you should know, but maybe i would rest better knowing you never told me no.

the sun screams loud but i'm still cold, waiting for those clouds to roll back around to my part of this kingdom. waiting for the time to yearn back to these days of june, nothing passes so slowly like the time spent on my floor. staring at the same fan.
spinning.
still thinking.

i was never in your photographs. and it's tearing me now like scissors ripping apart my skin. i have no where to go and the snow still falls. still locked up on my balcony overlooking my drowsy realm. how white. how simple.

xxxx