i was thinking earlier. he came across my mind. and i found my stomach drop to it's knees and i felt so .. mournfully attached to his memory. it's funny how one night and one day can make a heart mistake nothing for feelings. i have a barricaded heart - beyond the fray and unguarded fences, you'll find it concealing nothing.

i've come to tears holding this phone - remebering his digits, about to call - realizing he won't be there anyway. he's probably forgotten about me anyway. i'm nothing special. just another moment spent : another minute of untethered free-for-alls.

then there's this relay. the scratch burrying itself deeper into my spine. in comparison to the above mentioned, the other definetly tends to fade. this scar will never crossheal. it'll remain embedded in my thoughts : my mind : my spine .. he's everything. he's all i could ever believe in : and yet he still doesn't see me.

i'm a window-pane to him. i make his sight clearer for the guy behind me. he has his love; nothing [ful]filling for me. i'm his casket. but the other is his death.

i'll never be enough [for him].
you want to be something special?
i'm [just like] you.

xxxx