things are getting complicated. i have school i have to worry about now. too many tests and quizes to account to, and work consuming 4 hours of my day, everyday, i never seem to feel like enough time. let alone the social attachments.

i'm realizing how unoriginal i am now. everything i create becomes a common and it's no longer special - it's no longer MY trait. it becomes everyone ELSES and then i'm left to find something new of my own - to yet again have stolen - so i'm thinking maybe i should just forget to remember to find something new and stick with the norm.

i'm going to ask him, sooner or later, my threads will loosen and i'll look him in the eyes and ask. i'm still not sure what i'll get in return, hopefully a smile (leading to more), because i feel dependant now - waiting on an object already claimed. he'll never leave my thoughts though. i can't erase him [yet].

i wish i could write the story to my life, that way i could change what i've done and replace it with what i will do. pasts are so unmistakable.

xxxx