am i rightful to feel awkward when you're around? or when i see you passing by day to day? i never say anything to you, i may think a moment but the thought releases into my embarassment. i'm not sure what i was thinking, or what i may have been going into - but for some reason i'm treated with a friendly attire still. i'm confused as to how to act or to remember or to mention anything relative but i wait for moves to indicate where i should fill.

everyone i find will never be, or will never want and i'm scraping the floors for lost phone numbers, knowing even if i were to find them - i wouldn't call anyway.
spend a hour debating - waste the day pretending.

i need something new to believe in.
all i can recall are let downs and never-woulds.

xxxx