she stands before me, draining her heart out. her fears, her thoughts, her wishes.. everything seeps out into the sap of our relationship and i smother it into myself. i hold her tightly and try to keep her in a piece while she falls apart. i want to turn her around, take off her hat, lay her glasses down and tell her how beautiful she is. she really is. her perfections show to me in the deepest cracks and reflect something i have not yet achieved.

there are times when we grow tired. we have been to the edge of the earth and walked away from the ledge different people. we have hurt and fallen down. we have laughed and flew with such heights. there is a common ground between us.

i think, sometimes i spin this web for a reason. i catch others in my trap and pull them in. i pull them down [with me]. i am merciless and resentful of restraint. but sometimes, i sit in the corner and wonder where i've been. why i do this. why should i catch more when i'm not so complete.

then i speak, i tell her "you're beautiful." because she is.
and she's been crying.
(i cannot hold her like the life she wishes she lived)

xxxx