[.:remember the future:.]
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arrhythmia.
December 15, 2008 //_ 9:29 PM

[flip page: rewrite and begin.]

surrounded by feathers of down and embossed in white, i've recently come to terms with seams of fabric within myself. for one: i am not afraid anymore. for two: i am willing to become further into an unknown cycle of change. these loose pieces of cloth have been within my reach but for the longest time been in the dark about how to begin and where to even start sowing.

i am warm. i am comfortable. i am here, this is now and where i should begin.

the end of the year is breaking closer into vision.. a sight i never thought i'd see, for this year has yet to be one of the worst i've ever experienced.

� the passing of my grandmother.
� the inauguration of a friend only to have them sway away again.
� moving into a new house only to (still) find myself waiting to move out with a(ny) close friend.
� performing terribly at school.

and still in the midst of overwhelming cloud-bearers, there have been happy times.

� seeing M83 live twice.
� going on trips to Fort Bragg and San Francisco.
� going to dance clubs for a first and meeting new friends.
� finally getting my [P]ortishead tattoo, my eyebrow pierced and eventually my diamond tattoo.
� parties with damn good friends and even better conversations.

i cannot imagine where the next year will head me, or how i will phase new ideas and movements in and out of my workings.. but i can say that next year is looking far brighter than this year ever held for me.

and finally, i'll prove to myself i can grow up and not apart from the ones i love, for i can look around me and catch eyes with them for they have been with me all along.

and to them, i raise a smile and a familiar hello.

xxx

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xxx