[.:remember the future:.]
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revolving doors.
March 09, 2011 //_ 4:24 PM

maybe it was the way you looked at me from across the bar. patrons between us filling their throats with memories of the night passing. as i came across the room, i filled the spot next to you and we made small talk. maybe it was the way we took our last shot, how it burned its way down my throat and unlocked a box of dialogue i'd been meaning to keep hidden. maybe it was the song playing, and how i sang it out loud to you.. maybe make you notice someone like me, ohhhh

and then you kissed me. our lips pressed so tightly i forgot all sense of things. where we were. what we were doing.. even WHO we were. two gay guys in the whitest county in california- and we just happened to be kissing. thoughts racing thru my mind.. was i scared? no. this was our moment, something we never seem to make enough of.

when we pulled away from each other, it was only to catch our breath. you opened a door i had thought had been closed. the moments following, filled with lusty smiles and obsessive gestures.. obviously we both didn't lock it.

the following night you admitted something to me. while laying together, entwined in blankets and pillows, you whispered, "i think i'm falling for you all over again." was this the alcohol talking? a lonely side of you finally feeling free enough to put down its wall? and how am i supposed to feel about this?

i don't want to be hurt all over again.
so, welcome to happiness. no smoking allowed.
here it's so easy to burn yourself, and equally hard to survive.

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