[.:remember the future:.]
[hiv][older][about me][profile][d.land]
Yes, I say. I say it softly. I hardly say it.. I might not have said it at all.
April 01, 2013 //_ 3:10 PM

and it happened. I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said yes.

it's be a crazy couple of months knowing him and I can honestly say he's made me definitely happier than I have been in a REALLY long while. only problem with this situation is how I don't know hardly anything about being in a relationship and the emotional weight this bears.

even now, while coasting on all these wonderful new emotions.. I can't help but feel this awkward ripple on the sea floor. this possibly nothing, probably no-big-deal, but could potentially become everything feeling has been trying to bubble up in this relationship. a week later and I feel like this? I don't get it. I know relationships take work but it's making me second-guess if this is what I really want.

is he using me? am I attractive enough for him? am I being too affectionate?
I feel like I'm not getting what I want out of this. or maybe I am? maybe I don't know what having everything feels like.
I guess .. I never realized I would be this insecure.

« before ⎨&⎬ after »