[.:remember the future:.]
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January 19, 2018 //_ 1:04 PM

this is a new year.. and so much has changed- and so i figured this little occupied space of time should as well. new lewks. new feelz. hopefully new posts..

let's start with the big guns:
- I'M ENGAGED. the story as to how this all came to be will hopefully become a future entry.. but here's the basics: i surprised my boyfriend of 3 years by proposing to him in Disneyland during the fireworks show right in front of the castle. i timed it perfectly by holding his hand and while my awestruck man-turned-child heard all the characters say "dreams DO come true.." i leaned over and whispered in his ear, "would you make my dreams come true..?" and slipped a ring on his finger.
needless to say, we all cried. and we plan on buying a house together sometime this year and next year having the wedding. blah blah more details later.

- one of my best friends from high school died about a week before christmas and only a couple weeks before her 30th birthday (new years). she and her sister have been a HUGE part of my life while adjusting from the move to Grass Valley / high school / my young adulthood. she was truly one of my kindred spirits - looking back on times with her now i realize just how present i'd become when around her. when hanging out we would instantly commence creating inside jokes ontop of jokes until our whole universe was flooded with strings of meaning wrapped around the orb of the present. she made everyone laugh- albeit even at her own expense.. but she never took anything hurtful too serious. she truly was an orb of refreshing light, love and energy unmatched by anyone else i've encountered.
her sister remains my best friend, and with the two of them together- they were unstoppable. we three have all experienced so much together and apart.. and it pains me to know her other half, her sisner, has moved on to a higher plane.

they say time heals all wounds, but what do we do with the now? this endless gap between now and then? how can we reach this complete healing when it just feels like the bandages we use to cope just keep slipping off? can't we just find a nice comfy niche in the down feathers of time and be awakened when the morning has arrived?

my heart goes out to her and her family.

- we have a couple of amazing shows to attend this year already.. like TAYLOR SWIFT and PALE WAVES and i'm hoping to make some room for at least 2 more shows involving more than just my fiance. but we shall see..

- my 30TH BIRTHDAY is this year.. only 5 months away. i plan on hopefully getting my friends to join me at an amusement park and spending the following days retracing my steps in the town i grew up in. the town where i had my first 'girlfriend'. the town where i first played dress up. the town where me and my brother ruled the cul-de-sac and climbed trees infested with possums. the town where i first learned of my love for TLC. the town where i was when my mother died. the town where my father did his best for him and his sons..

there's probably so much more to update about but as for right now.. i'm pleased with all i've divulged. i hope to update at LEAST once a week.

sending out much love to the universe for 2018.
we could all use some.

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