[.:remember the future:.]
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murphys law.
April 25, 2020 //_ 5:25 PM

there's been this tiny pain between my shoulder blades.. it starts faint, and begins to bellow itself into an ache that comes and goes. i reach my arm behind my body and run my fingers over my spine - the parts that i can reach - and i can even locate the sore parts. certain vertebrae that feel somehow inflamed .. they carry all my stress. [all my hidden emotions]

i walk with slumped posture, something that i've had since i was a kid and grew up too fast. my dad likes to tell me i had an accident when i was very young where i landed on a sprinkler with my spine that may be the cause of my slight scoliosis - but it's wasn't severe enough to treat when i was younger.

sometimes i like to sulk in my own pity & believe the weight of my mother passing when i was younger is the cause of this curvature.. this always seemingly inflamed vertebrae of mine - holding all my emotions, my fears, my sorrow - is the reason. deep down, i know this isn't true. but i also know, deep down, this issue is not resolved. and it's frustrating to me this pain continues with me into my life.

and i don't know if either pain will ever be relieved.
but i do know that i hate this fucking couch.


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