[.:remember the future:.]
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Tuesday [Late] Night
2003-02-25 //_ 8:34 p.m.

*if you haven't read my earlier entree, check the previous one cause I just updated this 40 minutes later than the other one*

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Well, I'm thinking about quiting playing the bass guitar.. I just don't feel like I have the time and effort to fully devote myself to it.. I would love to be in a band - but it seems as if no one is willing to put forward the seriousness to really form one. My friends tell me that I shouldn't quit or give up on my dream - but I can no longer try to be something that I'll never achieve.. It'll only end up wasting that much time..

I believe that I'm finally able to accept the reality that my life will be like everyone elses'.. I'll still have my friends and I'm sure things will chagne as time passes - but I guess my dream of being in a band will remain the way it started - a dream. *sigh* Maybe sometime later in my life I'll pick up the inspiration and try my luck at it again, but don't get me wrong - I'm not going to completly drop the bass all-together. I'm basically just going to stop the lessons and just be on my own with the music I want to learn. I still plan to play and find tabs on songs that I want to learn - I just think it's really hectic for me to be taking lessons when I have so many other things I have to do. I should be able to pick up the bass and do what I want and really feel it.. Not pick it up and feel like its a chore.. Cause right now that's how it feels when I pick it up.. And when that happens - I know somethings wrong.

Ya know, I never thought I'd admit this - but lately I've been thinking about the whole moving issue and now I actually want to move. Don't get me wrong.. I never and will never leave my friends behind - but I think that I should start fresh again. I feel like I'm ready to meet new people and start new friendships - cause I already know how GBHS is and frankly - it's not all that great. But I would really like to see what that other school has to offer and see how many friends I can make.. I know I may not be a great friend - but I would like to see the attitude they hold over there. And you know, I have the internet so when I move I can always talk to my friends online and I can always talk to them on the phone and I DO plan to drive over and see them every weekend (at least) and hang out.. And all that will be made possible when I'm able to drive - so I plan on studying really hard for my stip test and I need to pass everything on time so by Christmas time I'll be able to drive on my own.. Muahaha. I can't fucking wait..

Oh, and about the email address that I got of Person X.. I guess they haven't been online at all since I've added them, and they haven't emailed me back.. So I guess that either they're still setting up the fucking computer or they just haven't been online. Either way - I'm still patient and I'm still giving them 2 months to respond.. I got time.. Plus if that doesn't work - I got connections to get something fucking sorted out..

*sigh* Well, another issue that I'd like to bring up is appearances.. I don't get why people are so caught up in them - but I'll be honest - I, myself, even care about the image more than other things in SOME cases - but some people use it as the only reason as to like someone. But with me - I like them for everything - not just looks. If the person I think is hot has an awful attitude - It usually tarnishes their looks to the point where I don't like them anymore. I don't mean to sound self-centered, but the people I like / am looking for are people with the complete package.. They have to have the look, the personality, the smarts, the heart and the time. Now, with half of the people I like right now - I can honestly say that so far I only know them by their looks - but trust me when I say im not all about the look. Some people take my obsession (yes, I'm admitting it) with Vin Diesel as strickly looks - and that's true to an extent but it's not my whole reason. I've gotten to hear Vin from interviews and talk to Vin in a recent chat (on Valentines Day.. oh fucking shit.. I still need to add the transcrip of that chat to my site..) and I can easily and comfortably say that Vin is an extremely caring person. He's just like anyone else (in the emotional and knowledgeable areas) cause a lot of people look at Vin and say "Oh, what an insecure person - look at how buff he is.. He must be so shallow.." and when people say that - it really fucking hurts me.. Cause they're looking at the image and thats it.. I mean, seriously, no one here HONESTLY knows Vin personally - No one, inluding me, have no say on who and what Vin really is / thinks about himself. And who are we to say that he's shallow? Don't you think that by judging someone by their looks is shallow in itself? I mean, people these days need to analyze what they say before they speak it.. A lot of people are hypocrites and just say things on the spur of the moment to try and show how 'deep' and 'analanthotical' they really are when if you really looked at them and what they say - they'd see that their ignorant. We are all when it comes to Vin Diesel. But some of us know more about him than others... How many of you knew that Vin used to work as a bouncer before he was an actor (and before I told you if I have)? I bet none of you have - and therefore it proves that you're ignorant when it comes to the facts based on Vin.. So in conclusion I believe that many people need to shut their fucking mouths before they start saying shit that isn't real.

I hope some of you learned something from that.. Basically.. Shut your fucking mouth when you don't know FACT from your own god-damned OPINION. *SMH*

I hope what I just said got to someone.. Cause I just spent about 30 minutes typing that out and I believe it's very informational.. Anyways.. I guess I should go..

Good night and until next time..

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