[.:remember the future:.]
[hiv][older][about me][profile][d.land]
[.i'm.not.going.to.sleep.anymore.] that's what the drugs are for.
March 10, 2020 //_ 12:11 PM

i'm deeply afraid that i'm starting to exhibit signs of my grandmother when she started getting alzheimers. i've always noticed that i start multiple projects and tend of finish them in odd orders (i'm very sporadic when it comes to accomplishing projects) but sometimes i'll forget entirely what i was originally planning on doing. i've become more anxious when it comes to visualizing the next days work, or maybe i've just been more readily able to define it. i don't tend to forget things at work, which is good, it mostly comes when i'm at home (and of course, intoxicated) .. which also may be the actual reason- but the other day Jordan mentioned that i tend to do odd things when i'm drunk, like placing things in weird places and then forgetting completely what i had just done within minutes. it just makes me think the drinking is exposing a part of my mind that will surely become more apparent with age. i don't know.

on a different note, we planned our honeymoon. i have never been more excited as to where/what we (more importantly, what HE agreed to) are going to/doing. our original idea was to visit the UK- which both of us have already been to but LOVE, and would love to revisit now that we're older and apparently more gay (haha) but his deal-breaker was that Big Ben is under construction/renovation for the next couple of years. now, i've been to Big Ben and London and all that- it's my least favourite place in the UK to be honest - HOWEVER, i'm sure that its based solely on my experience there when i was 18 and a nerp. also the time frame of our honeymoon would mean we'd most likely be enduring a lot of rainy weather and so forth.

while thinking of other places, he mentioned Mexico and all-inclusive resorts (mostly cos i'm an alcoholic and will destroy our budget anywhere we go) which never really excited me.. i'm not sure why. so i mentioned those cute little islands where you can stay in a bungalo and dive into clear as SHIT water and swim with native pigs - which sound SUPER cute and fun but my god, how do you trust any of these places to have a proper toilet? let alone, the PRICES. fuck. anyway, that idea came and left.. and then he mentioned something- referring to a desire of mine that i'd expressed YEARS ago (that i never thought would possibly come to fruition) ..

he says, "what about going to DISNEYLAND TOKYO for a week and from there go to Hawai'i for a week?"

FUCK.YES. *wig flies into the stratosphere*

I had mentioned my desire and love for Japanese culture (the fashion, music, movies, so forth) but I never thought he'd take it somewhat seriously and to top it all off- DISNEYLAND!!! we had toyed with the idea of Disneyland Paris but was maybe more worried about them hating us- on top of us just really wanting to explore Paris itself (not just the park) versus in Tokyo we will exclusively be going to the park except one day where we will try to venture out and experience the place.

obviously, hawai'i is going to be the "vacation from the vacation" where we will relax and have a much more chill vibe before heading home. but I. CANNOT. WAIT! also sidenote: i'm super pissed we bought our flight tickets BEFORE the coroNO-SHE-BETTAH-DONT virus scare happened cos our flights would've been cheaper i'm sure.. (jokes) also, we're flying FIRST CLASS on these flights- something we both have never experienced and I am just SO ready to be a big ol' white bitch up in there.

so we have some exciting times coming for sure. i'm more or less worried we won't be able to fully capture/film/document our experience which how many people can say they've been to TOKYO DISNEY?! i'm caught between being a complete asshole tourist or just allowing myself to be immersed in the experience. or hey, maybe we'll all catch the corona virus and die.

either way.
"if they could see me now, smiling six feet underground
i'll tie my feet to rocks and drown-
you'll miss me when i'm not around"

« before ⎨&⎬ after »