well, if anyone even reads my journal entree's.. you'd probably notice i haven't updated in a while.. and for that i have a reason.. although i bet i explained it before..

well [I'm using 3rd tense so just in case they dont want to be named. So when you see "them" or "their" it only means one person] the reason is cause recently.. this past thursday was the last day that i got to see my object of desire.. someone who i wont name cause i want to protect the innoncent and in no way label them something they aren't. turns out they moved to danville, near san fransico.. it was extremely hard for me to deal with this, and needlessly to say - i was heartbroken and depressed... but luckily the day before they left my friend and i took tons of STEALTHY pictures of them (and may i add - they didn't know) so i have about 19 pictures of them and im extremely glad i have them.. see its just the person that i just fell in love with, everything about them was perfect, they were clean and neat, nice and funny.. i could go on.. but sadly, when i tried to make contact with them, like starting a conversation, they would just answer a question and move on.. im pretty sure they knew i liked them, cause when i would talk to them, they would never delibritly look into my eyes, they would shy away like a guy would do when a girl he likes said "hi" to him.. but they were so cute everytime i saw him. especially in p.e. where i can remember when we were doing gymnastics or something, and i remember watching them while they did routines and one time he fell over on their ass, and it was just the cutest thing i ever saw.. their smile was great and warm enough to melt my icy heart.. their voice was even more soothing, i can only imagine how happy they'll make a girlfriend or boyfriend one of these days..

another extremely cute moment was watching them dance.. whether it be line dancing with everyone else or square dancing.. it was just so .. funny and cute to watch them! haha, well what else am i supposed to say? .. sigh.. i'll always remember them.. and i hope they'll always remember me, even if we never had a big enough conversation or any contact..

so as of right now, im feeling better than i have before.. its like a wave.. i have my ups and downs with dealing with this, but the bigger the up, the longer the down.. there's always something negative in anything i do..