Today was good I guess. Not one of my most exciting days, but I did notice myself going in and out of that funk.

First period at school was almost to the point of annoyance. Mrs. Sinor was being snobbish and she would whip at anyone.. I asked her if were were going to the play that Drama was performing and she was like, "Noooo!!" .. Yeah so I just sat there and did nothing. We graded the tests cause she's a sleaze bag and can't fulfill her own duty as a teacher -- so she shoves her busy work onto us.. I don't know what I got on that test, but I do know Morgan Thyken got -29. That's not good, considering she knew a few more things than I did..

Second period was like walking on the beach. It was easy, all we did was take the test -- in which I actually studied a bit for -- and I think I got a B on that Test. At least I hope so. It wasn't that hard, but I know I must have missed at least 3. Then afterwards I had some people sign my yearbook. It made me feel all warm inside, just knowing that they wanted to sign my yearbook.. and things along that matter.. I don't know, but it was cool.

Then third period was fun. Just like all the other times in guitar, all we did was talk. It was funny though, cause knowing Katie Taylor and Patrick Hancock.. there's bound to be a lot of laughs and there really is. Hahaha. Lauren Pattersons in that class too and she's awesome. I mean, when something funny happens, Lauren will laugh and I'll just bust out laughing cause of Laurens laugh.. It's like a fucking vacuum cleaner! It's hil-air-i-us. Anyway, I should've started practicing the Finals song, but I didn't.. I guess I'll have to cram that in on Monday.

Then lunch was cool. I got Kensey to sign my yearbook, and at the time, when she was done -- she was all like, "Don't read it until you get home! Just.. Don't read it!! Promise?" and so I was like, "Okay.. Okay, I promise" And so after school was out, I read what she wrote and it was a really cute note. Nothing big, just saying that she was sorry things didn't work out between us, that she still cares for me.. and to hang in there and continue to give out love -- and that I was a very lovable person and had a lot of love to give and that was one thing that she liked about me. It made me feel really happy about myself. :) And when lunch was over, Angela and I walked by them, and I looked at Kensey and she gave me a really cute adorable smile. I was like ";D" it was cool.

Then Spanish was boring, but yet interesting and fucking hilarious.. The boring part was when the teacher was talking to us about the lesson and shit. Mr. Lusk sucks ass, he's like.. Yeha.. Anyways, but at the end of class, Joel stuck some gum behind Alyssa Festermakers ass, and she was soooo close to sitting on it, and finally it barely got on her ass, and it stuck there.. Joel and I were busting up, and we were wishing that she would jump back in her chair so it would smear, and then all the sudden, Alyssa jumps back and the gum gets smeared on her ass. It was fucking hilarious, then all of the gum was spreading everywhere.. hahahhaa. It was great.

But the BEST part of Spanish was when Jake was in his chair... and he was facing my direction and the chair was leaning backwards, and I was looking at his legs, and his shorts kinda went up cause of the elevation he as at, ya know with the chair tilting back and stuff.. and I saw into his shorts!! AND I SAW HIS BOXERS@!! AND FARTHER UP HIS LEG!! HAHAHahahahaha. ::giggles:: W-O-W. He's soo fucking hot. I was like, "O_O" .. his thighs are so.. HOT, and I just wish he was back a little more so I could see through his boxers.. hm.. Hehehehehe. But yeah, that was THE highlight of my day -- seeing under Jakes shorts. ;) Ugh, he's too hot.

Then when I got home, My dad took me to the Sunrise mall where I bought the Modest Mouse, "The Moon and Antartica" CD. While I was at Sam Goody, this guy came up to me [who worked there] and was like grabbing my shirt and said, "Hey... is that Otep?" and I told him yeah, and he was like, "Oh, wow, Someone came in today asking about that band.. I didn't know they had a frontman woman as the singer. Awesome" and I gave him some info on the band.. It was awesome. Then when I was purchasing the Modest Mouse CD, a girl walked into the store, grabbed my pants and was like, "WOW! THOSE ARE AWESOME PANTS!!" and I was like, "...Thanks." and then her friend was like, "God, stop touching people today Alice!!" Hahaha.. It was strange but cool. My confidence went really high with that comment. ;D It made me feel all good inside again.

Then I walked over to Tower Records where I was looking for Bright Eyes.. and they were out! I was pissed.. gesh, but I listened to the new Less Than Jake CD, "anthem" and I was like, "WOW! I'm buyin this.." and then I saw the ThirdEyeBlind CD, "Out of the Vein" and I listened to that one and I liked it too, so I bought both of those CD's. It was awesome, then when I was walking out of the store, I looked at the car that was parked there, and inside of it, was this cute guy with his son (?) and he looked like he was lighting up a cigarette that was for the boy.. the cig was in the boys mouth, and this boy was like 8 years old.. I don't know for a FACT that it was a cig or that he was lighting it up.. but it AWFULLY looked like it. I was shocked at that, and just kept walking.. I couldn't believe that.. but moving on.

Then we came back home after dinner, and I'm listening to the Modest Mouse Cd.. It's pretty awesome, it's more moderate-tempo than their, "The Lonesome Crowded West" album, but its still hecka tight. I think I like this CD a bit more.. but the other one is a good jam CD. I have yet to listen to Less Than Jake and ThirdEyeBlind. But I bet that buying them was worth it.

This weekend will be [hopefully] busy. Tomorrow I'm going to try and do something with Angela and maybe something with Ashley Bitson. Then on Sunday I want to go to the mall with Roxy. But I think she has to do a few projects for school [as do I] so that plan might be scratched..

Okay, I just got back from watching 'Signs' in the other room. That movie was hecka scary and really interesting, but they changed it from the theater version onto tape. It lost a LOT of its suspence, cause they added in deleted scenes and stuff which made the film lose its credability. But it still was a good movie.. The little girl in that film is so adorable. Heh.

Tomorrow I have to get up at 7:30 cause we're going to be taking some things to storage and then head up to the property up in (gr)Assvalley and take some shit to the dump. It pisses me off that we have to take care of that shit up there.. I don't want to spend MY mornings doing that kind of stuff. I want to sleep in. Let alone go up there with my dad and Sandy. I don't like it when she goes, cause when she doesn't, my dad and I tend to listen to my music.. and we just kind of bond. Cause I take it that when he's listening to the same music that I do.. we bond in a way. Cause then he knows what I'm into, and with the music that I listen to -- it portrays how I feel. Cause I attach myself to the music that I can relate to, so in a way, I take him listening ot my music as an excuse to how he knows how I'm feeling. But when Sandys there, he's all like, "I don't want to listen to that crap.." but when she's not, he's like, "Yeah, sure." .. Sandys influence on him has taken its toll.. and I don't like it.

I wish things could be how they used to be. When Zach was still living with us.. and we would all gather around the television -- just the 3 of us -- and watch the X-files.. and I would rush out of the room cause I would be so freaked out but due to my curiosity, I would always creep back in to see the scary parts. Maybe that's where I got my love for blood/guts/suspense. But I also remember when we would all go out for pizza -- just the 3 of us -- and talk about stupid things going on.. and then walk over to get a movie and I'd beg my dad to rent some scary movie, and he'd deny me but eventually would break down to my bitching and moaning. Heh, I would always win those wars back then. I remember one time when Zach and Dad were gonna go get a movie one time, and I told them I wanted to stay home, cause I was man enough to be home alone [I was like 7 or 8 at the time...] and when they got about 2 feet away from the driveway, and when the door was shut and I was left standing there, in a dimlit house.. I was so freaked out cause I had recalled part of the movie, "Aliens" with the mix of "Scream" and I had the scariest invision of the two false-realities coming true and what do ya know? It would happen to me. So I ran out of the house with the idea that I could catch up with them, and I did all the way down the block where I litterally jumped on the car and demanded that I get in and go with them. Haha, I learned from then on I wasn't really ready to stay home alone.. but now-a-days I can't wait till I'm home alone. But people change over the years.. what can you do?

I remember way back when we would go miniture golfing -- just the 3 of us -- and we would play until we made all the holes. I even remember having a dream when I was about 8 and it was like a nightmare. I was dreaming of golfing, and I couldn't make this god damned hole, and it was SO fucking EASY! And the god damned ball would NOT go in the hole!! I got so pissed I was like hitting the pillow in my sleep, and then I accidently punched myself in the face which woke me up.. God it was a scary dream.. which really wasn't, but like I said, it had the effects of a nightmare.. O_o hahah. Stupid infant dreams..

But now Zach has moved out.. He's old enough to live on his own.. and I have to admit.. [I never thought I'd be saying this..] but I miss him. Even though he tried to kill me [I'm dead serious] about 3 times.. but through all that, I miss his presence. He is such a cool brother, he's hella smart.. and I just know he's gonna be like owning a multi-million dollar computer related franchise.. I just hope he doesn't forget about family. I would like to visit him in 5 years to see his progress ya know? But I don't even know where he'll be in the future. It's really undecided.

And now with Sandy in the whole family plan.. things aren't the same. And I don't like it. There isn't anymore fun times with just the 3 of us [Zach, Dad and I] I guess I wish my Dad was still single.. but I guess if Sandy makes him happy.. great for him. But what does he value most? A wife, or his sons respect and love? Compromise time huh?

Almost feels like I have to compete for my Dad's attention around here, and I don't like that feeling. ..wait.. scratch that.. It feels like I'm competeing for influence on my own Father. But I no longer seem to care anymore.

This house suffocates me. I feel like a weed trying to survive in a desolate desert. I can't stand the isolation.

Sometimes I feel like typing in here isn't enough at times.. Like I have to somehow express myself physically.. And I've been having the urge to pick up my bass a lot of the time lately. I think I'll take my 'teenage angst' out on that. But I have this god damned Spanish project due on Mon/Tue and I haven't started yet. What I'm gonna do is make it all tomorrow, and then study it for an hour and a half every day until Monday, cause we have to present those mother fuckers.. which sucks cause I suck at Spanish. So I'll be sure to do that tomorrow. Kinda glad I got those CD's today, cause I usually listen to music while doing homework and projects, and it'll give me some time to listen to them and enjoy them.. I really love this Modest Mouse CD, I haven't listened to the other ones yet, just this Modest Mouse CD over and over so far. It just attaches to me, and I love it.

I wonder if anyone has noticed that every single entree that I have, is named after a song title. I choose the song title that goes with the entree/relates to it or carries the theme to the whole genre.

It's getting late, I guess I'll go.

Here are the lyrics to one of the Modest Mouse songs that I really enjoy. It's a good song, just like all the other songs I suggest, you should download it.

"Everything that keeps me together is falling apart
I've got this thing that I consider my only art of fucking people over.
My boss just quit the job says he's goin out to find blind spots and he'll do it.
The 3rd Planet is sure that they're being watched by an eye in the sky that can't be stopped.
When you get to the promise land your gonna shake that eyes hand.

Your heart felt good it was drippin pitch and made of wood.
And your hands and knees felt cold and wet on the grass to me.
Outside naked, shiverin looking blue, from the cold sunlight that's reflected off the moon.

Baby cum angels fly around you reminding you we used to be three and not just two.
And that's how the world began.
And that's how the world will end.
A 3rd had just been made and we were swimming in the water, didn't know then was it a son was it a daughter.
When it occurred to me that the animals are swimming around in the water in the oceans in our bodies and another had been found another ocean on the planet given that our blood is just like the Atlantic.

And how.
The universe is shaped exactly like the earth if you go straight long enough you'll end up where you were.
Your heart felt good it was drippin pitch and made of wood.
And your hands and knees felt cold and wet on the grass to me.

Outside naked, shiverin looking blue, from the cold sunlight that's reflected off the moon.
Baby cum angels fly around you reminding you we used to be three and not just two.
And that's how the world began.
And that's how the world will end."

-- "3rd Planet" _ Modest Mouse

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