Went to the GSA meeting today. All during Music Lab I was nervous and feeling sick.. as I usually always feel before I do something as important to me as this. But as soon as I stepped in the room and sat down.. I felt so much better. Just being there seemed to stop all the voices in my head telling me about the possible scenarios that could happen.. none of those scenarios came true -- which is good cause all my thoughts come from negative ideas. =/

The GSA meeting was awesome. There was more than 50 people there. Some guys but mostly girls. I was let down by that fact, since I'm pretty sure most of the girls are straight and are just there for the "boyfriends" that they can pick up. But there was about 4 really cute guys that came. I was happy that some were open about it. I hope that the next meeting will have more guys and stuff. Nate said he was thinking about joining, that's great if he does. Katie might join as well. =)

The GSA meeting was just awesome.. We talked about what's going on, basically to just get everyone introduced and stuff. I saw a girl that was there from my PE class. She's even on my baseball team. But anyways, the main board member knows my name, his names Nate. ;) Hehe, I raised my hand to suggest that we play some Goldfrapp at the Club Rush orientation tomorrow and he was like, 'Yes, Jeff?" .. hehe ;)

So tomorrow is a Club Rush thing where all the clubs have a booth or whatever and they talk about their group to try and recruit some people into joining and stuff. I'm gonna be joining them in setting up and stuff. I really want to take charge and participate in as much shit as I can in this club cause it means so much to me. I'm gonna bring my Goldfrapp "Train" single but I'm not sure if they'll play it. I'm sure there will be a lot of other people there too. I just feel so .. fantastic when I'm doing something that declares my sexuality. I guess I'm really starting to know what Gay Pride is all about now. I feel like I could go up to anyone and tell them I'm gay. Only thing is.. how am I gonna keep making up excuses as to why I'm gone and doing activities to my parents? It'll be pretty hard for me to keep up.. but I don't mind it.

I wish there could be a GSA meeting everyday.. but sadly, it's only on Thursdays. I'm going to try and participate in the Club Rush event tomorrow during lunch.. then hopefully help out in this thing where the clubs try to promote themselves and/or try to raise some money for the club. Our club is gonna be selling krispy creames for 75 cents and I wanna be there to help sell em. I wanna do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING I can for this group. I just can't even begin to explain my joy from this group. I've only been to the first meeting and yet I'm addicted to being there.. I don't know.. I just feel so free and happy.. and yet I just need some time alone to sit and THINK about what's just happened.. I really want someone to talk to about all this stuff .. but I don't have anyone. I like to think I do, and there's probably a few people out there who think they're a person I could talk to but I don't. I just feel like I wanna be on my own for a while. I haven't found anyone that could replace Angela and I'm sure I won't find one.. even though I'm trying to fit people in her empty position. Jessi seems to fit nicely, but things will have to continue before we get any closer. Racheme could fill the spot .. she has the personality and plus we could have TONS of great conversations regarding talk about sexuality since she's bisexual. I don't know.. right now -- I am my own biggest priority. I want to make the best out of my High School years. And I will..

I'm talking to Ty right now. We're talking about some cute guys that we saw at the GSA meeting. Hehe. Ty is so cute himself. Woo, we're actually having a good convo! Yay for that! Heh, just found out he's a cuddler like I am. =) How cute. Hm.. Danny just signed in. I think I'll pass on talking to him since .. yeah.

Oh how sad.. I just IMed him. Gesh, He said he didn't come to the GSA club cause he thought it was pointless.. but he might come by next week. How is a club like GSA pointless?

So I'm gonna take some time out tonight and just think about what I have done and what I will be doing..

I'm just really happy. So happy that I'm a bit sad. If you can even make sense out of that. I can.

What if I take a little more than you need? What if I say I believe.. in me? Adequate for qualified.. Oh to be all that I say I can be..

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Jeff says:
and i dont mean to pry in your buisness, but is something wrong? cause i mean you seem really O_o distant, which that may be strange coming from me since i dont really know you but katie was talking to me about how you seem like your down and stuff
Jeff says:
and im trying to be your friend ya know
Danny says:
yea i know
Danny says:
i have been dwon latly just cause alot of crap happened to me over the summer and i am still werided out by it so
Danny says:
but i know you are trying to be my friend and thta is cool
Jeff says:
well if you ever wanna talk about it, im completely open to conversations.. i just wanna be there for ya :) just dont forget that, its an open invitation.. but im not trying to force you to do anything you're not open to
Danny says:
yea i know
Jeff says:
okay, as long as you know. im here for you
Danny says:
um ok
Danny says:
well i gotta run but have a nice night
Jeff says:
you too. see ya.

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