i dont know why, but i miss jake.

remember him? guy from old school whom i had a major crush on, would freak out over the little things, told him i was "bi" and he freaked out and blocked me? yeah, that jake.

i read some of the old conversations that i still have saved .. sometimes i said the stupidest things .. it just made me want to stab myself in the face .. but i really do miss him. i miss "loving" him.. his eyes.. the way he would laugh.. i miss stalking him, heh.

but im sure hes doing quite fine with the image he portrays. i hope he feels good knowing hes a complete asshole. a fuckass at that.

for all ive put myself through just to be friends with him only to have him be a completely different person than i expected .. and having that all thrown away .. i know i was silly to even think he was bi or gay .. or interested in me .. but that doesnt make up for the fact things couldve been different if he wasnt so ignorant.

same for his friends. that ryan king kid is a bitch waiting to be slapped around the block a few times. that mindless drone.

but that doesnt matter. jake was cute. dont know if he still is. but he was, and i know his face will be implanted in my mind for a while .. cant let go.